Page 81 of His Best Friend's Baby

“I want it.”

“The heat is off you. I hired some men so I’m not dying. If you need to stay—”

“Chris.” Jesse sighed, rubbed his forehead. “I absolutely promise I will be done here and in San Diego by the end of the month. I swear.” His pacing took him to the kitchen window so he turned and saw Julia standing in the door to the kitchen.

“Okay, Jesse. But let me tell you, you sound like a guy stuck between a rock and hard place and I don’t want to be the hard place. Take your time, do what you have to do.”

“See you in two weeks,” Jesse muttered, his eyes still on Julia’s.

He hung up and tossed the phone on the table.

JESSE’S WORDS RANG IN Julia’s ears. She turned toward the bathroom, desperate to be alone to scream and cry into the pillows that smelled like him.

Oh, God, she’d done it again. She’d done what she always did, letting her foolish heart lead her into dangerous places.

Fool. Fool. Fool.

Tears burned but she blinked them back as she walked past him. She would not cry in front of him. Not now, not after he so easily dismissed her.

She’d almost reached the dark hallway when he grabbed her elbow.

You are stone. You are untouched. He can’t hurt you.

“Let me go,” she said, aiming for fierce and angry with her tone but landing closer to weepy and vulnerable.

“You knew all along,” he whispered.

She nodded and anger chased hurt through her body. “I did. I knew all along. When you were helping me and laughing with me and kissing me and using—”

“Stop it!” He shook her arm. “You know it’s not like that.”

She wrenched her arm free and stepped close. Anger dried her tears and her vision suddenly cleared. She saw Jesse for what he was—a man caught in the past, lost and blinded by his old wounds.

“You’re lying to yourself Jesse. It’s exactly like that. You wanted me, you had me and now you’re leaving,” she spat the truth in his face.

“Julia, I’m sorry,” he said the words on a heavy sigh.

“For what?” she cried, her emotions tumbling faster than she could keep up. She was manic—near tears and near murder. “You never lied. You told me this wasn’t forever. I’ve got until the end of the month, right?”

“Julia, I want you and Ben to come with me. Come to San Diego. We’ll get a place on the beach. We’ll make a fresh start, we’ll try for real.”

His words spun a web around her, a cocoon of wishful thinking, daydreams and fairy tales. Her heart leaped with the sudden painful force with which she wanted that house and life on a beach with Jesse.

A fresh start.

Another fresh start.

How many more could she take?

How many more times could she move Ben?

How many more men could she follow into the unknown?

She blinked. Shook her head as if to force those negative questions from her mind, but they took root and spread. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted the life she was building here.

And he was running from the life he’d built here.

“You’re more like your sister than you thought, Jesse,” she finally managed to say.

“What do you mean?”

“She ran fifteen years ago. So did you. You ran into the army and you’re running now.”

Jesse sighed as if weary. “I’m not running. I’m making a choice—a choice for a better life.”

“What’s better than what you’re building here?”

He looked at her aghast. “You were there tonight, Julia. You saw what this town thinks of me.”

“I saw one guy with a big mouth. That’s all. And that will be forgotten in no time. But I also saw another guy stand up and shake your hand, boasting to his friends about the work you did. I saw Nell and her boyfriend talk to you. I see your niece and your sister and Mac.” She swallowed. “I see a life here that I want.”

“What are you saying?” he asked.

“I’m saying that I can’t go with you. I can’t start over again. I’m thinking of myself and Ben. For once.”

His jaw turned to stone and his eyes to glass. “So that’s it? It’s over?”

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