Page 29 of Playing Doctor

Gabe took the glass from her hand and set it on the edge of the tub. She hadn’t realized how tightly her fingers gripped the glass until he’d gently tugged it from her grasp. This time, when he reached for her, she went willingly into his arms. She burrowed into his embrace, giving in to the overwhelming need to hold and be held after baring her soul. His hands moved over her back, the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear comforting. As her breath shuddered out, she pulled his strength in. The knot of tension between her shoulders slipped away.

Her eyes drifted closed and her defenses gave in a little more. Tonight, just for tonight, she would allow herself to feel. Then tomorrow, she would let him go.

The water had begun to cool. He lifted his foot and manipulated the faucet with his toe and added some hot.

“Quid pro quo.”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve told you mine, now you tell me yours. What was happening with your wife’s medical condition that you didn’t see?”

He turned off the water and settled back against the tub, pulling her between his knees. “How ‘bout this…I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.”

Was he stalling? She could fix that. Tucking away the pain of the past, she tipped her head back and grinned up at him. “How about, you tell me yours, then we lock it all away and play doctor?”

His arms tightened around her and it seemed to take him a moment to gather his thoughts. “You play dirty.”

“It’s a special nursing course, much like the one doctors take on illegible penmanship.”

Gabe’s chest hitched with a silent laugh, then he drew in a fortifying breath. “I called her at lunch and she said she was feeling a little short of breath. She’d been up, moving around on her crutches, so I told her to kick back and take it easy.” He shook his head. “I’d see it once, maybe twice a month in a patient referred to me after a long bone fracture, but I sure as hell didn’t see it in my own house. It was right there, the most common sign of a blood clot in the lungs…and I didn’t see it.”

She stroked her hand over his chest, felt the heavy thump of his heart beneath her palm. It was impossible to imagine the pain, the guilt, the blame he placed on himself. There was nothing she could do about the pain—only time would heal that wound, but she could give him clarity. What he did with it was up to him. No one could do it for him.

Pushing away from his chest, Beth leaned back against his arm where it rested on the edge of the tub. “Was Rita increasing her time on the crutches, pushing a little more each day?”

A faint smile touched his lips. Memories. Good ones. “Every day. She pushed herself as hard as she did her patients.”

Maybe even harder, especially if someone wasn’t there to stop her. “Did she have any signs of an embolus when you left her that morning? Any of the symptoms you just described?”

“She was fine when I left her, but…”

“Was it something that started slowly, something you’d seen gradually increasing over a matter of days?”

The look he gave her clearly said, were you sleeping in class during the lecture on this? “No, of course not. You know as well as I do that’s not how a blood clot works in this instance.”

Bingo. “And if it were one of your patients or a colleague, if the situation were reversed, what would you tell them?”

He just stared at her, wheels turning, thoughts processing. When he finally spoke, his voice held a tremor. “The same thing you’re telling me. What everyone has been telling me for the past two years.”

“And that is?”

“It wasn’t my fault.” His chest rose and fell with large gulps of air. “It wasn’t my fault.” He wrapped his body around her and buried his face in the curve of her neck. She held him there, as the water churned around them, until the shaking stopped.

Chapter Nine

She was going to have to let him go soon.

Emotions, ragged and raw, rose up and squeezed Beth’s heart.

Gabe was all she could hope for in a lover—thoughtful, demanding, encouraging and inventive. He drove her to the limit, pushed her past the boundaries of her sexual desires and followed her over willingly, only to send her back up again. It was as though he sensed her every need, searched them out and took pleasure in giving them to her. Yet it wasn’t only his body that gave her pleasure—she enjoyed his smile, his sense of humor, and the way he lovingly cherished the memory of his late wife. Talking to him about Jamie had been easier than she had expected, and afterward, when he’d held her…

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