I immediately opened up the messages on my phone, and stood from the chair to head for my room, but stopped when Graham’s voice ricocheted off the walls.
“Deacon, what the fuck?” He was pointing at the phone in my hands, his face set with a rage I’d felt all too often when I’d seen him lately. “This is exactly what I just meant! I know you, man! Is that Charlie?”
“No, she has my real number,” I said automatically, defensively.
From Graham’s expression, it was both the wrong and right answer. “I told you that Charlie isn’t the kind of girl you screw and then leave, but she also isn’t the girl that you keep screwing around on, either. You come home and try to start shit, demanding me to tell you about something that wasn’t even happening, and all the while you still have Candy? You get up and leave the second it goes off? I mean, thank Christ you didn’t put Charlie’s number in that phone, but are you kidding me?”
I didn’t know how to defend myself or Words to them, when I knew they wouldn’t understand. I wouldn’t even know how to explain it. Like everything else in my life lately, I was still trying to figure it out. One day, one message, one mind-blowing kiss at a time.
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Deac,” Knox said warily. “I’m all for you being with Charlie if it meant what we all thought it did just a couple minutes ago. But this?”
“No, this isn’t okay,” Graham finished. “You can’t do this to her.”
“Even if I could explain it, you wouldn’t understand. Just trust me, the last thing I’ll be doing is sleeping around on Charlie.”
“Deacon—”
“I gotta go.” I ignored Graham trying to call me back as I headed to my room. The entire time my body was vibrating with anticipation as I hurried to pull up the picture Words sent.
It was another shot of her journal, like I’d gotten a week ago. My eyes skimmed quickly over the top that was scratched out, then to what was written below.
You can’t believe it’s daylight
We stayed up again all night
Just ta Talking just cause you like the way I make the words sound
You can’t believe it’s daylight
We stayed up again all night
Talking just cause you like the way I make the words sound
I triple-double dare you
Fess up and make the first move
You need me like I need you
That’s why you come around here
Cause you know I’ve always been the one
Who listens to your sad songs
The shoulder that you cry on
Out on that
ledge you walk on
When you’re sinking
Who keeps your secrets locked up
When there’s no one you can trust