Page 74 of Firefly (Redemption 2)

He nodded when he saw understanding light my face. “And I look all of them in the eyes while I do it. I can’t put you in front of me, Lily. I know it’s you when you’re there. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t that part of me. And all it sees is the death it needs.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, the confession hushed as if he was admitting his greatest shame.

Considering he’d kept it from me our entire lives, I wondered if it was.

“I can’t put you in front of me,” he repeated as all the emotion slid from his face, leaving hardened eyes.

I nodded numbly for a few seconds, watching him with new understanding that led to new pain.

Intimacy had always stood like a barrier between Kieran and me.

One he’d never tried to push past. One he’d never even tested until tonight.

And now I knew why.

He’d acknowledged his greatest strength in his job was his greatest weakness with me. He’d accepted it when I’d needed more . . .

“I know you. I know that beast inside you. You could’ve told me. And if you’d asked, I would’ve spent the rest of my life trying to help you overcome what Georgie engrained in you.”

“Do it,” he begged, the roughness of his voice betraying the lack of warmth in his eyes. “I can’t do what you’re asking. I can’t put you in that kind of danger. But say you’ll spend the rest of your life with me.”

My mouth parted on an exhale as pain and confusion threatened to destroy what was left of my heart.

“Kieran . . .” I whispered, unable to continue.

“Kieran!”

I jumped when Mickey’s voice rang through the house, my questioning gaze moving from Kieran to the hall behind him. All the while his intense stare never left me.

“Marry me, Lily,” he said, his voice suddenly soft.

Mickey’s loud steps sounded in the hall, followed by his voice. “Jesus, you have a phone for a reason, boy.”

A horrifying realization hit me then. “Mickey put you up to this . . . didn’t he?”

Kieran was so thrown off by my question that Mickey easily shoved his way past him and into the room.

Before Kieran could respond, a sharp laugh burst from my chest. “I’ve been with you for over ten years, and you only ask me to marry you once my dad tells you to? When he demands that we secure the future of Holloway?” I asked, disgust dripping from each word. “Or did the two of you come up with this together? Have Mickey prepare me for your proposal while reminding me of my place here, like I’m nothing more than a pawn or one of the Soldier’s Row whores.”

Mickey whistled and raised his hands, as if he was surrendering. “You shoulda answered your phone. Could’ve avoided this situation that, if you haven’t noticed, is a bit on the awkward side.”

But what had started out as awkward was now tense, and Mickey was too stupid to feel the change in the room.

Or he didn’t care.

Kieran’s expression was as impassive as ever, but his wrath clung to him like a second skin as he stared down Mickey with the intense hatred I’d always known he held for him—before he’d started working as Underboss.

Mickey twisted one of his hands that was still in the air to look at his watch, then clicked his tongue. “Time is a-ticking, Kieran. Got places to go, people to see, plans to settle, and traitors to silence. So let’s head out,” he said as he took a step toward the door. “You’ve got three minutes to be in the car.”

Mickey didn’t make it another two steps before Kieran was suddenly in front of him, yanking Mickey’s head back with a fist full of hair and a knife to his throat.

“That girl . . . your daughter? She’s not alive or here for you to secure a future,” Kieran bit out in a terrifying tone. “She’s here because she’s mine. She’s alive because she fights—”

The room swayed seeing the beast Kieran tried so hard to keep away finally unleashed, but my blood ran cold. I took a step toward the two men when I saw why Kieran had suddenly stopped talking.

“Mickey, no!”

“Well, hello to you too, Nightshade,” Mickey said with a dark snicker as he pressed his gun harder into Kieran’s stomach. His finger already tight on the trigger. “Now, I think you might be mistaken. I don’t need you for Holloway. If you kill me now, I guaran-damn-tee you my finger’s gonna slip. Then who is Holloway left with? Lily. Only Lily. And I guess you’d just be passing her off to the next Underboss. Which, if you think about it, is your buddy Beck.”

The calm on Kieran’s face slipped for a fraction of a second, but it was enough to make Mickey laugh again.

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