Page 29 of Firefly (Redemption 2)

“He did—”

“And it kills me that if Aric were still here, none of this would be happening,” I continued, my voice getting louder and louder. “He would’ve put an end to this as soon as he found out about it.”

A dark laugh rumbled deep in his chest, but there was no humor behind it. A muscle in Beck’s jaw ticked, his eyes were filled with frustration. “That so, Lil?”

“He was never afraid to challenge Mickey when he went too far—that’s why people followed and trusted him. He would’ve seen this put to an end years ago, not done whatever Mickey demanded. Kieran and I would’ve been—” My words ended with a sharp inhale as the air in the room changed, grew heavy.

I stood from the window seat, my eyes searching just before Kieran ground out, “You should be headed to Raleigh, Beck.” His tone and expression were detached if you didn’t know him.

But Beck and I did.

There was an edge that warned Beck not to say anything else. And after everything I’d found out the other day, it suddenly reminded me of Mickey.

I turned back to the window, unable to look at him anymore when that thought made my stomach roll and eyes burn with unshed tears.

The front door slammed shut seconds later, but in that moment, I couldn’t feel bad for fighting with Beck before he went to work. I still wanted to scream at both of them and hit them until they felt the pain I experienced when Kieran had slipped up about Texas.

But I knew it wouldn’t do any good. If they’d been working with Mickey on this for so many years—and all behind my back—nothing I said would make them stop now.

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“Beck’s under orders, Lily. You can’t question what he’s doing. You can’t yell at him for doing what he’s told.”

Pain speared my chest, making it difficult to breathe. “Is that an order?”

The only warning I had before Kieran was slipping up behind me was the sound of his bag dropping to the floor just before his fingers curled around my arms and he pulled me against his chest. His hold soft but unyielding. All Kieran.

“When have I ever given you an order?” he asked, his voice a low growl.

I didn’t answer, because I knew I couldn’t without being hurtful.

There had been so many times over the years when Kieran had told me not to do something in order to keep me safe, and I’d known in most of those moments he’d been right. But right then I wanted to hurl every one of those occurrences back at him.

“Is he dead?” I asked instead. When Kieran didn’t respond, I looked over my shoulder and searched his stoic eyes. “The man in Texas . . . is he dead?”

“No.”

“W-what? Why? I don’t—I don’t understand why you would be sent—”

“Mickey wants him alive,” he said simply, firmly. The conversation was over.

I hated knowing what Kieran did for Mickey . . . for Holloway. I hated knowing he’d been trained his entire life to be this person, so much so that he was Nightshade and Nightshade was him.

In all the years I had known him, I’d never wanted him to come home, knowing he’d just ended someone’s life.

But over the last days I’d been anxious for the time I’d wake to him slipping into bed, anxious to have the confirmation that the man in Texas was no longer living—no longer taking and hurting stolen women.

Knowing that Kieran had left him alive left a sinking feeling deep in my gut.

I tried to turn in his arms to fully look at him, but his grip tightened, preventing me from facing him—as he always did. Tearing out of his hold, I whirled on him, my voice a soft rasp as I tried desperately to hold back the tears. “Mickey wants him alive? And you just do whatever Mickey wants, don’t you?”

Kieran’s eyes hardened. His jaw clenched. That monster inside him flickered to life.

“What about me, Kieran? What about you? What about what we want?”

He slowly backed up to lean against the dresser, his shoulders lifting slightly. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is. It can be. But you refuse to let it be.” Tears burned my eyes and my throat tightened when I reminded him, “That man buys stolen women. You had a chance to end him, and you didn’t take it.”

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