Page 122 of Firefly (Redemption 2)

“It doesn’t matter. Whenever you say these things, it makes me sick. It feels like you’re punching me in the stomach. You were trained to be a murderer, Kieran. That’s a truly horrifying thought, but it’s something I came to terms with so long ago because I know who you really are. I know you hated that side of you and hated your dad for making you into this. And because I knew you wanted to escape it. But the way you’ve embraced this life—”

“I fucking hate this life,” he ground out as he slowly closed the distance between us. Once he was in front of me, he dropped to a crouch and caged me in with his hands pressed to the wall. “I hate your dad. Aric found out what Mickey was doing with this human trafficking ring a long time ago, and started digging deeper to try to put an end to it before it could get too far along. I only did the minimum because I was about to get us out of here. We kept hitting roadblocks because your dad knew every move we made, so I reached out to someone I knew Mickey would never suspect.”

I sucked in a sharp breath when it hit me. “Dare.”

That anger slowly started creeping back in the moment I said his name. Kieran’s breaths grew rougher, his green eyes became harder, but even with me sitting here in front of him, the beast inside him stayed locked up.

“Right. Dare. He didn’t want to pass up on an opportunity to take down the guy who killed his dad . . . and then Aric died and Mickey killed Dare’s fiancée.” Kieran searched my face to see if he was telling me anything new, and continued when I didn’t react. “Mickey got more involved, and so did we. We knew he didn’t have to only be shut down, he needed to be put in the ground. But with how far into the process he already was, it wasn’t as simple as killing him. We needed to destroy his business, Holloway, and stop the ring from happening, which takes time. Longer because he wants me by his side for every single thing. He didn’t like that Aric was pulling away and had members looking into why he was. He expects me to be like my dad.”

I nodded, remembering how Mickey was never seen without Georgie. He wasn’t just Mickey’s advisor, he was Mickey’s bodyguard and best friend.

“Most of my week is spent working for Mickey, which only leaves me a few hours to work on taking him down because Beck has to continue selling, and I can only rely on Dare so much. And not only has there been a damn clock ticking over my head to get this done before Mickey can make things happen, I’ve been working longer hours and days to get it done faster so I can get us the hell out of here. But this was something Aric and I started before he died, and I know it’s important to you. I know you hate Mickey and Holloway as much as I do, and I know you want to see it destroyed. I’ve been destroying it, Lily. It just takes time. And now that I’m days or weeks from being done, I find out you’re . . . fuck, I find out I’ve lost you because of it?”

I wished I could tell him he was wrong. “Why didn’t you just tell me what you were doing? Why did you shut me out?”

Again, that baffled look.

He had no idea he had.

He rocked back to sit, and drove his hands through his hair again and again. “What was I going to tell you, Lily? I’ve never told you about a job. You made me swear when we were younger I would never tell you.”

“I meant killing. I didn’t want to know about what you did as Nightshade.”

He shrugged. “There’s no difference.”

“Things might’ve been different if you’d told me why we weren’t running away. We might still be happy if you’d just told me what you were doing.”

“We can be happy,” he said sincerely. “I can make you happy, Lily.” When I began shaking my head, he reached for me. “We’ll leave. Today, tomorrow, whenever you want.”

“Kieran, the part of me that loved you is so shattered, there’s no—”

He sat forward, crushing his mouth to mine in a kiss that I’d spent a decade begging for.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life putting every piece back together,” he said against

my trembling lips, his hands cradling my cheeks. “I know you’re hurt.”

“I can’t.” I gripped his hands and pulled them off my face, my eyes blurring with tears when I did.

His hands slid back up my arms, the movements sluggish. “Lily, don’t do . . . what the hell is that?”

Before I could stop him, he grabbed for the bottom of the long sleeve on my top and pulled it up, his body going unnaturally still when he saw the bandage.

“Um, I . . .” I swallowed through the lump in my throat and forced myself to tell him the truth. “Johnny got—Kieran,” I shouted when he suddenly pushed away from me and took off for the bedroom.

I scrambled to stand and hurried to follow him. By the time I made it in there, his expression was blank and his eyes were the kind of lifeless, too horrifying to look into, and he was arming himself with knives.

“Kieran, please,” I begged as I gripped his arms. “Don’t go over there—Johnny isn’t even there anymore.”

He didn’t have to tell me what he planned to do, it was written all over his stone-like face.

“Move.”

“No, I know what you’ll do if you go there. I know what will happen if you find Dare instead of Johnny. I can’t let you go.”

The moment Dare’s name slipped from my lips, I regretted it. That beast that had stayed subdued throughout our confessions flickered to life. Kieran’s chest expanded and contracted with his breaths, each rougher than the last.

My hands began shaking, and if I was smart, I would’ve turned and ran.

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