Page 3 of Firefly (Redemption 2)

I jolted awake, my arms reaching to catch someone that wasn’t there. A sound between a sob and a scream tore through the room before I could choke it back.

My hands slammed down onto the mattress, barely keeping my torso up as my arms shook. My head fell between my shoulders like a dead weight as my breaths rushed from me mercilessly. Each strained breath sounded like an inverted scream as I tried to force the memories from my mind.

Within seconds the door to the bedroom burst open, slamming against the wall. The sound followed Beck’s frantic voice. “Lily!”

I opened my mouth to respond as my best friend rushed around, looking for a threat, but I only managed another pained cry as everything crashed into me again and again.

Hooded figures that used the dark to their advantage.

Red stains on his shirt and my carpet.

Lifeless eyes.

Lines and circles. Always lines and circles.

“I’m fine,” I finally forced out, my words shaky and directed at the bed. “I’m . . . I’m fine.”

“Jesus fuck, Lil.” Exhaustion crept through his tone. “You scared the living hell out of me.” He sat near me on the bed and placed a hand on one of my arms, but I jerked away from his touch.

“Don’t,” I pled. “Don’t . . . just don’t.”

“Lil,” he began softly but didn’t try to reach for me again. “Do you need me to get in touch with Kiera—?”

“No, don’t.” It felt like I’d shouted my plea, but I wasn’t sure if Beck had even heard my whispered words. “He’s working. He can’t—just don’t contact him.”

“You think work would keep him from you if you needed him?” Beck asked with a hint of amusement, but worry was still in his tone.

Kieran had been saving me for as long as I could remember. Whether from spiders and other crawling insects, or from men who tried to steal me in the night . . . saving me had been his life’s mission. It was in his blood.

It was one of the many reasons I’d fallen in love with him.

But my favorite trait of his had become his biggest flaw over the last few years, and I hated that it had come to this. Hated that I now resented him for being who he was.

Because he loved me, and my heart ached for the love we’d had, but he was a warrior through and through. And ever since that night Aric died, those instincts had slowly enveloped Kieran’s love for me, until they were all he knew.

Save Lily.

Protect Lily.

Hide Lily.

Cage Lily.

And one word from Beck would have him running home to save me, but I needed this time alone.

I needed to process the grief and pain the nightmarish flashbacks always brought with them, and process the piece of that night I’d remembered. And I couldn’t do that with him here—not when his presence felt so suffocating.

“One of the other rooms?”

“No. He said it was in here somewhere.”

A chill crept up my spine, adding to the trembling of my body as I remembered the men’s words.

“Lil?” Beck prompted.

I gritted my teeth against the pain that felt so fresh, and instead of answering his question, whispered, “It’s been four years.”

He didn’t need to ask what I was referring to. Every year, the anniversary of Aric’s death hung like a dark, menacing cloud above the Holloway Estate as the date loomed closer.

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