Page 49 of The Spy Who Tamed Me

She made herself small and quiet—found that place deep down inside where she’d retreated so often as a child, that little dark hole where she could put herself back together again, piece by piece, until she was whole again.

Jared was alive. That was a block right there to build upon. Jared was alive and all she had to do now was sort out her private feelings for him and keep them separate from what was required of her professionally.

The Dutch were saying they had bodies. What good was it going to do anyone if she went sleuthing and discovered that this was a fabrication? What good would it do to confront Jared as to his whereabouts these past few days? Did she really want to know? Occasionally it was preferable simply to remain ignorant.

She’d know anyway. The minute she saw him again she’d know whether or not he’d had anything to do with Celik’s demise or disappearance.

She’d send him that report about the two bodies, and if that didn’t get him in here, spitting fire and glaring daggers … if that didn’t get him roaring at her for not letting him go check on the boy two weeks earlier.

As for the rest of her relationship with him …

Deep down inside she started to curl in on herself again—so little spine, so weak and pathetic.

No need to be in love with a man she’d only known a few weeks.

No need to mourn the loss of a connection that had never been there in the first place.

He didn’t trust her, and maybe she didn’t trust him, and without at least some level of trust there was nothing worth having.

She’d needed him to call her this week and share something. His actions, his whereabouts. She’d have even gratefully accepted the briefest of calls just to let her know that he was still breathing.

But no.

He’d offered nothing.

Jared flew into Canberra dead tired but determined to see Rowan. Damon had forwarded him the press release from the Dutch, citing Celik and an unknown male dead, case closed and no more questions.

Celik’s mother had probably told them of his involvement by now, but that was all they knew. Jared had told them nothing, so whatever game they were playing … he wasn’t in on it. No one knew where Celik was now. As far as Jared was concerned no one ever needed to.

He took a taxi to the ASIS building and talked his way past the front desk. His presence had been requested by the director of Section Five after all.

Several days ago now.

Rowan’s trusty assistant sat at the outer desk as usual, headphones on and fingers flying across the keyboard. It made his silent approach easier, and he was almost upon her before she looked up from her work. Her eyes widened at first, and then narrowed alarmingly. No welcome in them whatsoever as she slid her headphones off and stared at him in silence.

‘Hey, Sam. Is she in?’

‘If by she you mean Director Farringdon, then, no. Not in.’

Okay, maybe he should try that again. ‘May I make an appointment to see the director, please?’

‘Sweet manners, but you’ll still have to wait your turn. How about—?’ Sam turned her attention back to her computer screen. ‘Friday week?’

‘Seriously? She left a message saying she wanted to see me.’

‘That was last week, when she was being hauled over the coals for a stunt some fool pulled in Amsterdam. Two dead, apparently.’

Jared scowled. ‘I’ve seen the report.’

‘Have you, now? And yet it still took you three days to put in an appearance? Where have you been, Mr West?’

‘Busy.’

‘Aren’t we all? The director’s not here and she no longer needs to see you. I’ll let her know you’ve been in.’ She slipped her headphones back on, dismissing him. ‘You know the way out. You’ve walked it enough.’

Yes, he should have called her. He’d been somewhere in Poland when Damon had relayed her first message. He’d thought about calling her and lying outright, but that hadn’t sat well with him. He’d thought about calling her and coming clean, but he honestly hadn’t known what she would do with the information.

She was a director for the Australian Secret Intelligence Service. She’d have been obliged to hand that information over to them. She couldn’t tell them what she didn’t know.

Surely she would know that he’d been protecting her?

Surely she could see that a new start had been imperative for Celik and that someone had to organise it and that the best man for the job had been him?

Surely …

And even if they did have differences of opinion when it came to the way he’d handled the situation, surely she’d hear him out?

Wouldn’t she?

He had every confidence in her ability to bring a thoughtful, rational approach with her to their current predicament. That was why he was currently pacing the pavement outside her apartment block like a downtrodden preacher without an audience.

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