Page 56 of Summer of the Viking

He caught her arm. Concern was etched on his face. ‘Do you want me to fetch her? It will give you some time to compose yourself. Merri will understand why things need to be kept quiet.’

‘No, I will go and speak to her.’ She shook her head. It amazed her that he wanted to do something like that for her. He made her feel cherished. ‘I should have been more careful. This is why we should never have...’

He lifted her chin so she looked in his wonderfully expressive eyes. ‘I’m not ready to give you up, Alwynn.’

‘You don’t know how tempting that is, but I must tell her that...that we are friends. Yes, friends.’ She held out her hands. ‘Shall we speak no more of it? Let us be friends. We made an agreement. I mean to keep to it.’

He inclined his head. His eyes hardened to stone. ‘Forget I asked. Of course we keep to the agreement. Have I suggested otherwise? I simply wanted you to know that you had options. You’re not alone.’

‘You mustn’t worry about me.’

‘I’ll always worry. Wherever I am.’

Her heart clenched. She had hurt him, but it was the right thing to do. And she knew she could never go back to their old agreement. She needed his touch too much. ‘I will find a way, Valdar. Merri will have to learn to hold her tongue around the others.’

Valdar watched her walk away. He crushed the lavender between his fingers. He wanted Alwynn in his bed and by his side. He wanted to know what she was thinking, to protect her, to cherish her. But he had no rights. He knew why the gods had given him this second chance and what they expected him to do. This was but a fleeting period in his life, though he would remember it for the rest of his days.

As if she could read his thoughts, she turned back. ‘You do think I am doing the right thing?’

‘Seeing Merri on her own? Of course.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘Easier on the both of us. You will have to deal with her when I go in any case. I’ll keep out of the way. I want to take another look at the sheep enclosures on the home farm. Just let me know how you put it.’

‘I understand completely.’ She walked away from him and there was nothing he could do to bring her back.

* * *

Alwynn discovered Merri in the stables.

The girl was sitting hunched up next to Purebright, her head resting on her knees.

‘Merri?’ she said, holding out her hand.

The girl raised her head. Instead of tears, her eyes danced. ‘I saw you. Kissing Valdar. You never kissed my father like that. Ever. You looked so happy. You’ve even started singing again. You don’t know how I’ve longed for it. Of all the things my father caused, that was the worst.’

‘Your father had little to do with it.’ Alwynn gave a careful shrug. She refused to have Merri thinking any more bad thoughts about her father. ‘It was more that I didn’t have time to think, let alone sing. With Valdar here, I’ve more time.’

‘You’re singing because you’re happy. Some day Valdar and you will marry. He is a prince in disguise and all your dreams will come true.’

Alwynn shook her head. ‘You must stop speaking nonsense. It shouldn’t have happened. Think about what Father Freodwald would have said.’

‘But it did! And Father Freodwald isn’t here. He is stuffing his fat face at Lord Edwin’s.’ She clapped her hands. ‘Are you going to marry Valdar? Has he asked you? I know he wants to. I can see it in his eyes. They follow you whenever you are near. He has made you beautiful, Stepmother. He’ll stay if you ask him.’

Alwynn shook her head. Here she thought they had been so careful. Probably everyone had noticed. She had to hope that no one truly knew how far things had gone. ‘He has another life, a life which has nothing to do with either of us.’

Merri’s face became mutinous. ‘He kissed you. It has to count for something. It will be just like a bard’s tale. Only better because it is really real. Like you giving me Purebright.’

Alwynn’s heart squeezed. The last thing she wanted was to destroy Merri’s innocence. There would be time enough for her to learn about men. She leant down and patted Merri’s hand. The girl’s slender fingers curled around hers. ‘Men are like that. And let’s keep the tales where they belong—for after supper. In real life, sometimes we have to make hard choices and there isn’t a happy ending.’

‘Let him know how you feel!’ Merri jumped up and began to pace about the stable. ‘We need a warrior here. Someone else could look after his lands. Someone is looking after them now. If he had died out on the sea, they would have had to look after them for ever. He has no need to return there to his past. He should think about his future.’

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