Page 34 of Summer of the Viking

His insides twisted. His duty should have come first several weeks ago. He should have anticipated the potential for treachery. But there was no need to tell Alwynn of his failings as a warrior.

‘For this summer...’ Her lips quirked up in a smile. ‘It promises to be a quiet one. I doubt your sword arm will get much use.’

‘For this summer,’ he agreed. He knew then he would seek to defend her as best he could, even to the point of dying. And the knowledge frightened him. He had learnt from his past mistakes. If she discovered his heritage, she’d betray him to her king. The gods had given him a second chance to put things right. And he never mocked the gods.

* * *

Alwynn walked quickly away. She had been a thousand times an idiot to go and check on Valdar while she was still upset about Lord Edwin and she should never have rested her cheek against his chest or listened to the steady thump of his heart. She struggled to remember the last time she had felt that safe.

He’d been the one to take his arms away. It was obvious that he had no desire for her. Her mouth twisted, remembering all the cruel things her husband had called her.

‘My lady!’ Gode came hurrying after her. ‘You left too quickly. Before I finished with the doves. You didn’t ask about my niece and her new daughter.’

Alwynn halted her steps beside a large oak. The summer sun filtered down through the green leaves as Gode gave a long account about her niece and the latest addition to the family. It shouldn’t hurt hearing about other people’s babies, but it did. The familiar knot of longing in her stomach started.

‘Valdar is doing well thanks to your nursing,’ she said to distract her thoughts away from the babies she’d never hold in her arms.

Long ago before her marriage, she’d envisioned having the nursery full. But the cradle had stayed stubbornly empty. Theodbald proclaimed it was her fault; after all, he already had one child. She had to wonder if she had been cursed.

To her, Theodbald had appeared the perfect hero on their wedding day. Someone to keep her safe from the storms and protect her lands. Nothing had turned out as she’d hoped. And she’d learnt a hard lesson about the futility of believing in dreams and heroes.

‘The warrior is an easier patient than most.’ Gode glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice. ‘Did you discover where he is from?’

‘He told me the name of the place when we arrived at the cottage. He made no secret of it.’ Alwynn shrugged. Gode did not even know where Mercia was. She would not have heard of Raumerike either. Valdar was no demon in human form. He was far too kind and considerate. ‘Anyway, the threat from the Northmen has been exaggerated according to Lord Edwin.’

‘And you are spouting that jumped-up no-good’s opinions now?’

‘Who am I to judge? Valdar swears that though he comes from another land he comes in peace. Thus far good fortune seems to follow in his wake and I could use some of it.’

The tension went out of Gode’s body. She suddenly seemed like a frail old woman. Her hands went about her stomach. Alwynn thought again about insisting Gode consult one of the monks. But every time she mentioned it, Gode found an excuse.

‘There I am inclined to believe him. He did smoke out Oswy, the old fraud. And not before time. For that alone, I would be happy to kiss his feet.’

‘You and Oswy the Blount have been at loggerheads for years.’

‘I am honest and he is less so.’ Gode rolled her eyes. ‘He promised my sister much and left her with little.’

Alwynn pressed her lips together. She had heard the story of Gode’s younger sister being left at the altar since she was a girl. And Oswy told another tale. ‘Away with you. You should allow the past to stay there.’

‘As you do, my lady? I haven’t heard you singing in a long time, but I could almost swear I heard a hum emerge from your lips earlier today.’

‘Now your hearing is going.’

Her old nurse’s eyes narrowed. ‘Your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are brighter. Who made them that way?’

‘Honestly, you are worse than Merri. I’ve no time for such things. I have an estate to run. Save your tales for the children and the kitchen maids.’

‘How is a tale going to come true if you won’t believe in it?’

Alwynn bent down and picked up a handful of dirt. ‘This is what I believe in—the land and my responsibility towards Merri and my people. Nothing else matters.’

‘The trouble with you, my lady, is that you are only going through the motions of living. What your husband did to you was awful, but allowing him to kill your spirit is worse. Stop being afraid to live, really live.’

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