“Pretty sure you can’t be responsible for the condition of your dad’s heart.” Her words were matter-of-fact, and under any other circumstances, maybe they’d have helped.

“I’m sure as hell responsible for saying the things that pushed him over the edge.”

Sliding an arm around his waist, she said, “Tell me.”

Maybe it would help to confess it like a sin in church. He dropped his head forward, pressing his brow to the cool glass. “After the meeting, he tried to apologize. As if an apology would make up for what he did. I told him as much. Dressed him down for his behavior and threatened to make the whole thing public so he’d never get re-elected. I told him he’d lost all my respect, as a sheriff and as a father. And I—” His voice broke. “I said he was dead to me.”

“Oh, Xander.” Kennedy turned into him.

He didn’t deserve the comfort, but he held on anyway because she was the only thing keeping him from flying apart. “I knew he didn’t look quite right, but I just thought, well, that’s what he looked like when I finally defied him. And I just walked out.”

“You were angry.”

That was no excuse. “I should’ve realized—”

“Did your dad have a known heart condition?”

Xander tried to think. “I—not that I’m aware of.”

“Then you couldn’t have known,” she insisted. “You were angry and it was your right to be so, your right to express it. You have too strong a sense of justice not to want consequences for what he did.”

“But I didn’t mean this.” No matter how angry he was, he’d never have wished this.

“Of course not. And you didn’t do this. This is not on you.”

“But—”

“Listen. I came back. I was the reminder of when he broke the rules. Did something awful. Does that make any of this is my fault?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely not.”

“Okay then.” She stroked his cheek. “I admit the timing is awful, but we didn’t do this. It is a thing that happened. It’s no one’s fault.”

What she said made sense, but it didn’t combat his biggest fear. “But...what if he dies? What if he dies, and that’s the last thing I ever said to him?” He’d never forgive himself.

“Don’t think about that. You need to be putting out positive energy. He’s going to come through this. He’s going to get better. You’re going to get to talk to him again. You’re going to get the chance to forgive him.”

The anger flared anew amid the maelstrom of other emotions. Even with his father possibly dying, he hadn’t let go of that. “Forgive him? After what he did to you? To us?”

Kennedy framed his face in her hands. “And we’re together despite it. We’re together, Xander, despite everything. Yes, he did a terrible thing, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s your father and he’s still basically a good man. The forgiveness isn’t really for him. It’s for you. Because as long as you hang on to that anger, it’s going to poison you from the inside out. It’s going to eat away at you.”

He searched her face. “Can you forgive him?”

She didn’t answer immediately, clearly giving the question some serious thought. Her whole life had changed because of him. She’d lost time with her mother that she’d never get a chance to make up. Her relationships with her sisters were rocky, at best. All that was on Buck. It was a lot to forgive.

At length, her expression smoothed out. “I think I can. Because, in the end, he’s the one who has to live with what he did. I don’t. Not anymore.”

“Mr. Kincaid?”

They both turned as a white coated woman approached.

“Your father’s out of surgery.”

~*~

“He’s awake.”

Marilyn shot out of the chair. “Can we see him?”