Page 50 of When You Got a Good Thing (Misfit Inn 1)

Kennedy blew out a breath and dropped her hands. “What are you doing here?”

He shoved his own into his pockets to keep from reaching for her. “Can we talk?”

She hesitated. The harsh security lights illuminated the shadows under her eyes and the faint puffiness that meant she’d been crying.

Xander felt like an even bigger jackass.

“Really talk,” he pressed. “As in a conversation where I listen, without having my head up my ass.”

A light of something he hoped was interest lit her eyes, but her tone was guarded. “Okay. But somewhere else. Your place? Pru and Ari will be sleeping. I don’t want to wake them.”

She was expecting a fight. And why shouldn’t she after last night? He’d all but come out swinging.

“Sure. Meet you there.”

Xander wasn’t any clearer on what to say by the time he unlocked his house and let her inside. “Want anything? Something to drink? A snack?” He felt stupid asking, but basic hospitality was too deeply ingrained not to make the offer.

“No.” Hands tucked under her arms, she crossed over to the sofa and sat. Her expression was guarded, but he took it as a positive sign that she didn’t choose the chair to keep him at a definitive distance. She didn’t say a word, just waited with a stiffness bordering on brittle. So he sat beside her, close but not touching. He didn’t have the right to touch her.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this all day.”

“Your actions spoke pretty clearly last night.” Her quiet words were a slap.

Xander winced. “I’m not proud of that. And I’m not going to make excuses. I’m sorry. I’m so goddamned sorry. For what he did to you. To us. And for my reaction. You’re not to blame for any of this. I was an asshole last night. I know how hard it’s always been for you to trust people. When I’m in my right mind, I know that. I know it was a huge deal that I was one of the few you did trust.” God, it killed him to say that in the past tense.

“The fact is, since you came back, it felt like nothing had changed. Not really. It was easy to dive back in because it’s what I’d always wanted, deep down. And because nothing really had changed for me. But things did change for you. My father terrorized you. To the point that you couldn’t risk trusting even the handful of people you’d depended on. And it was a dick thing for me to get angry with you for not trusting me like you’d always trusted me. For not taking into account how what he did affected you, not just us. So I’m sorry.”

Kennedy watched him with serious green eyes. “It was never about trust. Not now anyway. I didn’t want to destroy your family. I know what that’s like, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

She’d put him first. He could see that now. Maybe he didn’t agree with how she’d done it, but she’d avoided the easy road of shifting all the blame to his father. He had to respect the strength of that.

“You didn’t deserve any of this.”

She dropped her hands to her lap, shoulders slumping with utter exhaustion. “It’s not about deserving. And either way, it’s done. It’s over.”

“I hate what he did to us.”

“So do I. But we’re never getting that time back, no matter how much we wish it or how hard we mourn it. Believe me, I know. I’ve had considerably longer to do it. This thing has been a shadow on my life for a decade, and God, I just want to move past it.”

It was going to take him a while longer to process everything. To make his peace with it and figure out what he wanted to do next with his life, his work. But one thing was crystal clear. “I hope you will. With me. If I haven’t fucked it all up.”

“You said we were a mistake.”

She might as well have punched him in the gut. He wished he could punch himself for saying that.

“Trying to pretend the last ten years didn’t happen was the mistake. We’re older, more mature, and at least one of us is wiser. But we’ve never been a mistake.” He reached out to take her hand and found her fingers cold. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll never think that’s a mistake.”

Kennedy shut her eyes, her face twisting as she drew in a long, shuddering breath. Xander’s heart gave a simultaneous twist. He’d ruined everything. The tears glimmering in her lashes were confirmation enough of that.

“I spent years imagining this, you know. How it would go, if you ever found out the truth. You were always furious with your father. You’re too honorable a man not to be. But I could never quite envision a scenario where this was a possibility. Where, in the end, you still loved me.”

Her hand tightened in his and she opened her eyes. There were tears, yes, and a heartbreaking fragility he knew she’d shown few others. It was a measure of that trust he’d thought he’d lost, and it humbled him.

Cupping her face, he stroked away her tears. “I do. I love you. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it.”

Eyes searching his, she reached out to lay a palm against his cheek. “Show me.”

Chapter Thirteen

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