Page 68 of The Professor
She pulls an envelope out from behind her back and hands it to me. Taking it from her I read over it and before I even finish I snap my head to hers. She’s chewing her lip, looking very nervous and I’m suddenly confused. This should be a moment to celebrate.
Wrapping my arms around her, I lift her and spin her in a circle. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Emma. Congratulations, this is unbelievable.”
She laughs when I spin her, but as soon as I put her down, sadness clouds her features. “I’m going to turn it down.”
Taking a step back in disbelief, I shake my head. “What the hell are you talking about? This is NYPC, this is the best of the best. Why the hell would you turn it down?”
Her eyes swim with tears as she searches mine. “I’m making a choice, Drake, and I’m choosing you.”
The wind is literally knocked out of me and the only thing I can do in that moment is pull her to me. This girl, this woman, she deserves the world, she deserves everything. I don’t want to lose her, but I sure as hell won’t be living with the guilt of ruining someone else’s life. I can’t do anything to change what happened to Braylin, but I sure as hell can change this.
“I love you, Emma. I love you more than I’ve ever loved before. You brought me back to life. You reminded me what it’s like to laugh and to look forward to the next day. I’ll never stop loving you, my heart belongs to you, but you can’t stay. You need to go and live the life you are meant to. I won’t be the reason you stay,” I say, my heart aching with each word.
Shaking her head, she wipes the tears running down her beautiful face. “No, I can’t. I can’t lose you, Drake. If I go, I’m leaving the best part of me here with you.”
“Emma, I love you too much to let you stay. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to you right now, but at some point you’ll understand,” I say, forcing my emotions back.
I’m a selfish guy, I’ve always been, but I can’t do it this time. I love her too much and as badly as this hurts, I need to let her go. This isn’t about me, this is about her. She needs to do what she’s been striving for. As much as I want to keep her here with me, make a life with her, I can’t. I won’t. She deserves so much more.
“You can’t make me go,” she says, getting a bit pissed off.
I expect it, I deserve it. It’s probably easier for her to hate me, at least for now.
“You’re right, I can’t make you go. I can however, put an end to this,” I say, trying to keep my face blank. Which is hard as hell since my heart is bleeding in my chest.
She glares at me with fire in her eyes. Good, this will make it easier for her.
“You’re putting an end to this? You’re going to punish me for choosing you?” She yells.
“I’m not punishing you, Emma. I’m giving you the opportunity of a lifetime. Take it and run,” I say, crossing my arms to keep from pulling her to me.
“Come with me,” she says as tears pour down her cheeks.
The urge to comfort her is taking over, so I need to just do this. Be a man and put her hopes and dreams before mine. So with my stomach turning and my heart breaking in a million pieces, I step closer to her.
“This is my home. I won’t leave my brother, but I can leave you. Go to New York, Emma. This thing with us is over. I need to focus on my responsibilities and you need to focus on your career. It’s for the best, you’ll thank me.” Handing her acceptance letter back, I step back. “Thank you for everything, it’s been amazing, but it’s over. Please leave.”
“Fucking coward. Give up like you always do, Drake. It’s easier that way.” She’s crying hard as she swings open her car door. Looking up at me, she shakes her head. “I would have given up my life for you.”
Getting in the car, she peels out, speeding away.
“I know you would have, that’s the problem,” I whisper.
Walking into the house, the emptiness I feel is worse than I’ve ever felt. I sink down on the couch, resting my face in my hands. For the first time since the accident, I cry. Sobs rock my body as I think of letting her go. It’s the fucking hardest, most painful thing I’ve ever done. She owns me, every part of me, but I know I did the right thing. I’d wait a lifetime for her, but I won’t tell her that. I want her to go and live her life, happily. One day she’ll thank me for letting her go.
A bit later Liam walks into the house and I look up at him. He rushes over and grabs my shoulder.
“What the fuck happened?”
Standing up, I scrub my face. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit,” he says, following me into the kitchen.
“You’re right it is. I had to let Emma go and I want to die because it hurts so fucking bad,” I say, turning away from him.
“Fuck,” he says under his breath. “Why the hell did you do that?”
I tell him everything and he doesn’t interrupt or turn anything into a joke. He listens to every word I say, with sympathy all over his face.
