Page 69 of The Professor
“You did the right thing brother. We’ll get through this, we always do,” he says.
He has been with me through everything. He might be a pain in the ass, but he’s the best friend I’ve ever had.
“Yeah, I just need to figure out how to live without my heart because she took it with her.”
* * *
The last fewweeks have been absolutely miserable. Seeing Emma in class has been the worst feeling. Although when I see her laughing or smiling around campus, it makes it a little easier knowing she’s finding some joy.
It’s all over now though, it’s graduation day. As miserable as I’ve been, it will be nothing compared to after this. This will be the last time I see her. After this, well I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. It hurts more than I can explain. I wrote her a letter, I just haven’t decided if I’ll give it to her.
“Professor Grayson.”
Turning my head, I see Professor Erickson standing there. “You should be proud of all your graduates. You had a hell of a year.”
It’s a compliment I never expected from him, but even that can’t lift my mood. I force a grin and follow him to the ceremony. It’s unbelievably boring to me, but once they start calling the names I pay attention. When they get to the B’s my stomach sinks, this this it.
“Emma Bower,” Dean Thomas says.
I watch her walk across the stage and get the diploma with a huge smile on her face. A smile I hope is always there. Me on the other hand, I wipe a tear that escapes. That’s the last time I’ll see my girl and it guts me. I don’t know how I’m going to survive, but for her I will.
The pain, the loneliness, the depression, it’s all worth it if she’s happy. It’s all I want, all I need. She is the love of my life and everything good that happens to her makes this agony worth it. I’ll never stop loving her, never let her fully go. She’ll be a part of me for the rest of my life and maybe one day I’ll smile when I see how successful she’s become. When I know that my sacrifice was worth it.
Epilogue
Emma
I’ve beenin New York now for a few weeks. It’s nothing like I expected, but it’s more than I wanted. My internship is gruelling and demanding, but I wouldn’t change it. I’ve learned so much in such a short time and I’m finally starting to make new friends.
I talk to Aubrey every night and she keeps me up to date on everything back at FU, mainly Professor Grayson. Not being with him has been ridiculously painful, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Those first few nights, I thought the pain would actually kill me, but it didn’t. I’m still here and he’s still on my mind every second of the day. I’ll never stop loving him. I’ll never love anyone like I do him and I don’t intend to. He told me I need to go live my dream and that’s what I’m doing. But once my internship is over, once I am ready to go practice on my own, I’m fighting for him. I’m not the kind of girl to just walk away.
I’ve thought about calling him or writing him, but I always lose the nerve. So for now, Aubrey keeps me up to date and I’m okay with that. My dad says that when a man truly loves you, he doesn’t put himself first, he puts you first. He told me that after what Drake did, he believes he loves me. He respects him for it and it makes me smile that he sees what a good man he truly is. Even if it took me awhile to remember it after everything that happened.
Living in this tiny apartment with two other girls isn’t all that great. I’m starting to feel like Makena, hiding out in my room most of the time. They definitely aren’t like my girls back home. They are very self absorbed and stuck up. I miss being home, but I know this is where I’m meant to be for now.
“Emma, you have mail,” Debbie, says through my door.
Opening it, I take the mail and thank her before closing my door. Flipping through, I drop everything but the one letter. I sit down on my bed and with tears in my eyes, I open it.
Emma,
I’ve contemplated if I should send this, but ultimately I knew I should.
I know the way things ended with us wasn’t easy, but I did it for you. I let you go so you could live the life you deserve. I didn’t want to be the reason you give up your dreams. But it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Not being able to see you everyday, hear your voice, or hold you in my arms guts me. I want you to know that I didn’t do this to hurt you, I did it for you. You’re the love of my life, Emma Bower. You hold my heart in your hands and maybe one day you can give it back. Because the thing is, I’ll be here. I’ll wait for you Emma, if you ever want me back, I’m yours. I let you go physically, but I’ll never let you go emotionally.
Do your thing, make me proud. Stay happy, keep that beautiful smile on your face. Reach for the stars and don’t let anything stand in your way. Just know I’m here. If you ever need me, I’m here.
I love you Emma, more than words could possibly ever say.
With All My Love,
Drake
P.S. I got a horse.
Wiping my tears, I read it again and again. It’s not over, it’ll never be over. When this started I couldn’t believe the hot professor wanted me. I never imagined it would be anything more than sex. Damn was I wrong. In him I found the love of my life.
He was right, I will thank him one day. The same day I give him his heart back.
