Page 62 of Sugar
Everything around us disappears until it’s just me and him and the memory of our love, of what once was so enthralling andall-consuming I thought I’d never be alone again. I’m dizzy from holding my breath, but I can’t let go of him, can’t get my lungs to cooperate. A sound escapes my throat as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him tighter to me. He groans low and opens his mouth in sweet reward, sliding his tongue against the seam of my lips until I part for him too.
It’s transformative, the way we’re no longer on the altar of this church, newly married and fumbling with the past. Now, we’re right back in it, hands clinging and breaths catching, molten need pooling white-hot between us. I want to go back in time to the night he held me over uneven mounds of sand and whispered his love for me over and over again, his breath fanning across my face and palm pressed to my heart. I want to look that girl in the eye and scream at her for the thoughts running through her head, for the pressure that she let build and build and didn’t trust him to help carry.
The pressure of his grip on my hips grows as he struggles to pull himself away. The sound of the room around us floods back in, a low murmuring of voices and disgruntled gasps. When his lips leave mine, it’s a loss that pierces sharp into my heart. Pastor Brown chuckles next to us, albeit stiffly. “I think that’s enough,” he warns.
But I’m not sorry.
And based on the heat in Kasey’s eyes, I don’t think he is either.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
KASEY
Ifeel like I’ve just been electrocuted, like my entire body was set ablaze with the heat and force of Ava, before it disappeared and the dark settled back in, leaving me twitchy and reeling. I grip the bottle of beer in my hand so tight my knuckles turn ghostly white. The knot of this stupid tie at my neck suffocates me, and I reach to pull it loose so I can breathe.
“I’ve never seen so many people in here,” Wells observes, seemingly unaware of my struggle to merely exist beside him, his eyes scanning along the swell of people stuffed inside Wild Coyote. Every seat inside the bar is taken, and at least a hundred more people are somehow still packed in, standing in any open space they can find. It’s an untraditional reception for sure—we aren’t feeding anyone some fancy dinner, and we sure as shit don’t have a DJ or live music or even a dance floor, but Wells has been slotting quarters into the juke box, and Olivia arranged for some of her coworkers at the café to work the bar so my family could enjoy the night.
“They’re going to clean us out of booze,” Rhett adds. “I’ve already changed more than half the kegs, and I don’t think we have many bottles left in inventory.”
“Well, that’s something,” I say. “At least we get to make some money off this train wreck.” We’ve been running a tight ship lately when it comes to finances. The ranch only brings in a modest profit during our best years, so our main priority is keeping things in the black. The bar does a decent job at funding anything our family might need above and beyond what the ranch can provide, but with Melody’s medical bills and funeral, things are tighter than they’ve ever been.
If this reception is any indication of a changing of the tides, of thegoodthis marriage to Ava will lead to in keeping my family afloat, there’s no doubt that I owe her a serious debt for talking me into this.
“Train wreck?” Rhett balks, as if he can read my mind. “Dude, I saw the way you two kissed up there on the altar. Something tells me you’re having agreatnight.”
“It didn’t mean anything,” I grumble.
“I’m calling bullshit,” he counters, grinning like a fool. His black cowboy hat is pressed low against his brows, his pale gray eyes sizing me up like he can plainly see all the things I’m wrestling with.
I roll my eyes and turn away.
“Hard to think of any of this as a train wreck when we get to enjoy a cake likethat.” Wells points his chin to the center of the bar, where a monstrosity of a rainbow cake is on display. He and Rhett both start laughing.
It looks nothing like any wedding cake I’ve ever seen, but Ava seemed pleased when Luna brought it in, her relief when she thanked her genuine.
The mere thought of Ava fires off an instinctual urge to lay eyes on her. It takes a moment to sort through the sheer amount of bodies but I eventually find her across the room, standing with Layla and her mother, Lynette. It’s obvious Layla’s makinga strong effort to buffer against her mother’s curiosity, but Ava’s face still looks pinched with discomfort.
“Do me a favor,” I ask Wells, keeping my gaze trained on her. “Play something slow?”
Wells nods. “It’ll take a few minutes. There are already a few other songs queued up.”
“That works.” I start pushing through the crowd toward her, but then change course. I head behind the bar and find the bottle I tucked in the fridge earlier this morning, pulling it out and unwrapping the foil along the top. After dismantling the wire cage, I pop the cork and pour a hefty amount in a lowball glass since we don’t have anything fancier.
“Kasey,” someone calls over the murmur of conversation just as I walk back out onto the floor. I turn to see Ellis standing near the door, smiling, flanked by Colt and Wylie Jo.
I frown.
His face falls, and I almost feel bad. But then I remember all the reasons why I’m mad at him, and a familiar irritation takes root. I’m tempted to ignore him and continue on to Ava, but Ellis starts gliding through the crowd toward me, and I know I’m not going to get out of a conversation with him.
“Hey,” he says when he reaches me, his smile reignited. “Congratulations, man,” he says, pulling me into a hug. I go stiff as his body curls around mine, but if he notices he doesn’t let on.
“Thanks,” I mutter, pulling back. I nod a hello to Colt and Wylie Jo. “Glad you all could be here.”
“Sorry we didn’t make it to the ceremony,” Ellis cuts back in. “We had a fence go down this afternoon, and a few cows got loose. Most of them stayed close, but it took a few hours to find the last two. You know how it goes.”
I nod, giving him a polite smile. “Definitely. It’s no problem at all,” I assure.
“So, which one is she?” Colt asks, looking around the room. Our fathers have been friends since they were our age, but they grew up outside of Saddlebrook Falls, and Ava and I were pretty secretive about our relationship in high school. Wiley Jo is scanning the bar too, but when her eyes settle on someone, I follow her line of sight to where Rhett’s still standing.
