Page 61 of Sugar
I know how he looks when I’ve riled him up—in all the goodandbad ways. I’m not sure I have the strength to see his displeasure right now, not when we’re supposed to be convincing all these people that this is real. That we’re still so crazy about each other all these years later, we couldn’t possibly wait another second to make our forever official in the eyes of God. So I look at all the pink and white roses, at the silver-striped tie Pastor Brown has tucked into his navy suit jacket.
The journey to the steps in front of the altar takes an eternity and yet ends in a blink. I eye the four steps, the only thingremaining between me and the man I know stands waiting. Looking down at my dress, I pinch a bit of fabric, pulling the skirt away from my feet so I don’t trip.
But then he’s there—not at the top of the steps, but next to me with his hand stretched out between us. His tanned wrist is exposed from beneath the light gray jacket he wears, the smell of pine and leather swirls around us. I finally look up to face him, finding his brown eyes warm, his mouth at ease. His unruly waves are combed back away from his face, a simple black tie knotted against his neck.
He looks at me with a calm and steady patience that catches in my throat. It takes me three full breaths before I can rein in my own emotion and take his hand, letting him lead me up the stairs. When we reach the top, his hand stays firm around mine, squeezing gently as we turn to face each other.
“Dearly beloved,” Pastor Brown’s voice booms across the room, startling me. “We are gathered here today in the eyes of God and in the presence of family and friends to witness and bless the joining of Kasey Bennett and Ava Jones in holy matrimony. Marriage is a covenant not to be entered lightly, but with reverence, honesty, and love. We are all here today to celebrate not just this union, but the weaving together of families, of friends, and of a shared future.”
The words spill out into the space between us as my eyes stay locked on Kasey’s. My heart beats so hard in my chest I think if he looked down he might be able to see it through my dress, but he just looks at me. Watches me.
“Let us bow our heads and pray.” There’s a beat of silence as everyone does as instructed. I know from experience the whole congregation is closing their eyes, but Kasey and I just keep looking at each other. “Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of love and for the blessing of this sacred moment. We ask for you to surround Kasey and Ava with joy and to strengthenthem in their journey together, from now and forevermore. Amen.”
The room fills with an echo of “Amen” before it goes silent again.
“Now,” Pastor Brown says, “I would be remiss to move on to vows before asking if any of you in this room can show just cause as to why these two should not be lawfully married? Speak now, or be forever bound to hold your peace.”
My heart hammers as I wait for my father to shout his disapproval, to call this all a sham. I wait for anyone else seated below to call out a protest, to inflict their judgment on us here in front of everyone.
But the room stays silent, and so Pastor Brown goes on.
“It is tradition during a marriage ceremony for the couple to exchange vows, to make promises together in the eyes of God that will help carry them through the future. Kasey,” he says, turning to face the man in front of me. Kasey finally rips his gaze from mine, looking at the pastor and nodding. “Do you take Ava to be your wedded wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love, comfort, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as long as you both shall live?”
Kasey looks back at me, and there’s something in his expression I haven’t seen since we were teenagers. “I do,” he replies, steady and sure. His hand squeezes mine again.
My eyes burn hot, vision blurring.
“And do you, Ava, take Kasey to be your wedded husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love, comfort, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” I say, the words a near whisper. My fingers tremble in Kasey’s grip, and his brows bunch above his nose.
“May I have the rings, please?” Pastor Brown asks. Kasey hesitates, eyes fastened to mine, before dipping his free hand in his pocket and fishing out two gold bands. He drops them in Pastor Brown’s waiting palm, clearing his throat and looking down at his feet.
Pastor Brown holds up both rings, pinched between the thumb and pointer finger of each hand, presenting them to the whole congregation. “The union of marriage is a circle, a symbol of eternity and unending love. As you place these rings on each other’s hands, remember that your love, too, is without end.”
My hand trembles again, my shoulders shaking with a shiver. I focus my gaze on Kasey’s face, silently begging him to look up at me again, to assure me that this is okay.
“Kasey, please take this ring and repeat after me.” Kasey’s eyes flash to the pastor’s outstretched hand as he takes the smaller of the two rings. “With this ring, I thee wed. With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.”
Kasey’s eyes land on me again and the relief I feel is immediate. He lets go of my right, quickly reaching for my left and lifting it between our bodies. “With this ring,” he repeats, his voice rumbling through me as his eyes lower to where he holds the gold band at the top of my finger. “I thee wed. With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.” He gently slides the band down over my knuckle until it rests in place. When his eyes lift back to me, I nearly topple over from the force of it.
“Ava.” Pastor Brown turns to me. “Please take this ring and repeat after me: with this ring, I thee wed. With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.”
I take the band that glints beneath the overhead lights and position it over Kasey’s ring finger, taking a deep breath as I look right into his gold-flecked eyes. “With this ring, I thee wed. With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.” My skin grows hot and tight around my body as I push the band down. Whenit reaches the bottom of his finger, Kasey’s hand flexes, and his fingers wrap around mine.
“May the Lord bless you and keep you both. May His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May He lift His countenance upon you and give you peace this day, and all days.” Pastor Brown straightens his back, lifting his chin high. “By the authority vested in me by God and the state of Texas, I now pronounce you husband and wife. What God has joined together, let no one put asunder. Kasey, you may now kiss your bride!”
The room bursts into a cacophony of sound as the townspeople applaud. Kasey tugs me to him, eyes careful on mine as the space between us disappears. And then he’s leaning his face down toward mine, the smell of spearmint and aftershave beckoning me in like a long-lost friend.
With just an inch between us he hesitates, holding still. Our breaths come together as we both seem to wait for the other to make the next move. His eyes drop to my mouth, anchoring there, and I slip into so many echoes of this very moment—of him, hovering above me, looking at me just like this.
“Ava,” he breathes, bringing me back to this place. To this new version of him so different from my memories, and yet the very same.
“Kiss me, Kasey,” I whisper back.
And then he does.
His mouth sinks into mine, lips warm and pressure light. The shape of them is still so familiar, I’d know him even in the dark, even with my eyes closed. He cradles my neck and jaw in one hand, wrapping the other high around my waist before it skitters down to the small of my back, pressing me into him. It feels like coming home, like the sweetest solace.
