Page 59 of In My Blood
“Of course you’re his real sister. He loves you, Cara, so much. He always has,” Cal told me vehemently, stopping midway up the third flight of stairs so he could turn to me to make his point fully.
“I’m not what he planned though. You heard him. He had thought I’d come back and everything would be perfect. He didn’t count on his sister coming back to him as a fucked up, depressive, fearful mess though, did he?” I growled, the words just spilling from me. “I mean, look at Gia, and look at me. I’m nothing like her! She’s elegant and beautiful, educated at private schools with her perfect posh accent. I’m a short-arse, on the ugly side of skinny, with a messy, mixed up accent, scars fucking everywhere, and I didn’t even finish high school! Rafe brought home a dud!” By the time my tirade was over, I was shaking again, my words short and breathless as I gasped to get air between them. Tears filled my eyes and I turned to face the rail on the stairs so Cal wouldn’t see the tears start to fall.
Cal didn’t say anything, and silence surrounded us apart from my pathetic sniffles and my short breaths. I didn’t even know where all of that bitterness came from, but clearly it had been ready to come out.
After a moment or two I felt Cal move close to me, then his arms came around me from behind, one wrapping around myshoulders and the other sliding around my waist. He pulled me back into his front and just held me as I allowed my tears to trickle down my face and fought to stop more from coming.
“Sorry,” I whispered to him, but I was relieved when he didn’t say anything or move his arms from around me. It felt so good to be held so tightly against his solid body, his height towering over me and making me feel small beside him. He made me feel cared for, and I had wished for that for so long. I found myself relaxing back into him and closing my eyes as I calmed down. When he tightened his arms around me a little more, I sighed happily, knowing I should pull away, but enjoying the hold too much to let logic, or propriety take it from me. Callan was a good man. I was pretty sure of that. He wouldn’t hurt me, and he seemed fine with holding me, so why should I end it?
“Are you feeling better?” he asked quietly sometime later, his words spoken close to my ear softly.
“Sorry I lost it,” I told him instead.
“I think you’re entitled to. You’ve had one hell of a week.”
“You give good hugs.”
“Pleased to hear it. Best part is they’re bottomless too. You can take as many as you need, whenever you need or want them,” he teased, making me smile a little.
“That sounds good, though I don’t want this one to end,” I sighed. “Sorry. I know I must seem like a freak. You barely know me. I guess I….it’s just been a long time since anyone was there to hold me when things become too much. Rafe was there last week, of course, but before that…”
“I know you enough, Cara, and I’m more than happy holding you like this too. I love hugs, but the guys in this family aren’t big on random displays of affection.”
“No,” I chuckled. “I imagine not. What about Gia?”
“Gia and I don’t get along that well. We used to when she was younger, but once she got into her teens, she decided I was a boring geek and kept her distance. I get it, I’m not very exciting. I don’t go out much, and I spend a lot of my time on my studies, but I do miss her.”
“I think Gia needs to be dragged back down to Earth a little,” I sighed.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s spoiled, and she behaves like a brat from what I’ve seen. Rafe has let her away with too much. Treating you like that is unacceptable, as is her sneaking out, then trying to find ways around her ridiculous punishment for it. I think she needs to understand that kind of attitude isn’t going to get her far in the real world, and I’m thinking it might be my job to show that to her.”
“I can’t disagree with you on any of that,” Cal told me. “But for now, how about we put that aside and focus on getting you cleaned up and fed? You’re still trembling. Do you feel alright? Could you have low blood sugar?” he worried, making me smile. I turned in his arms and wrapped my own around his waist, holding him too.
“You worry too much,” I told him when I lifted my head and met his eyes.
“I do about you. You’re so tiny and slight.”
“I’m tougher than I look,” I told him. It seemed I’d been saying that a lot lately.
“I don’t doubt that, but I’d still feel better if you ate something. Come on,” he said, and before I could move, he crouched low enough to grab the back of my thighs and lifted me up until I had my legs wrapped around his waist and was clinging to his neck way too tightly.
“What are you doing?” I laughed.
“You said you didn’t want the hug to end, and I didn’t either. This way we can move and hug,” he said, like it was such a rational explanation.
“You’re nuts!” I told him as he started up the stairs with ease. I tried to ease up my hold on his neck, putting my hands on his hard, muscled shoulders instead. I wondered what he did to work out, because clearly he did. No one was naturally that in shape.
He smelled really good too, obviously wearing some spicy aftershave, but it wasn’t overwhelming. I hadn’t really smelled it until I was so close to his neck. My legs seemed to fit perfectly around his trim waist, and my core started to come alive as it was pressed against his abdomen with every step he took. Being that close to him, brought every part of me alive in a way I never remembered feeling before. I liked him, I realized, a lot. He was like the ideal guy – handsome, sexy, strong, funny, and smart. The perfect package. All I wanted as he held me, was to lean in and kiss his perfectly defined lips, but I didn’t, because I wasn’t the girl for him and I knew it. I didn’t even know how much will Itruly had to live right then. Getting involved with anyone would just have been cruel and selfish.
“I am,” he agreed. “You’ll get used to it.”
“I’m sorry you have to witness my freak out,” I told him as we reached the top of the stairs. Despite my realisation, I still wanted Cal to be my friend, and I wanted him to like me. I didn’t want him to be put off because I was acting like a crazy person. I mean, I couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again, because I was sure it would, but I hoped he’d take my apology in the meantime.
“Don’t Cara. I’m glad you felt safe enough to vent to me like that, but you know it was all utter crap, don’t you? I agree you might not be what Rafe was expecting when he found you, but that’s not a bad thing. You’re strong and brave. You fight for what you want and need, and you care about your siblings fiercely. Rafe brought back a sister he’s so fucking proud of, and I know that because I see that pride in his eyes every time he looks at you.”
“You really think?”
