Page 15 of A Royal Disaster
“We’ve got to be the worst match in the history of bad matches,” Elena said, shaking her head as the server arrived with their dinner.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Everything looked and smelled delicious, but once the server had verified the steaks were to their liking and moved on, Liam set his fork aside. “What do you mean about us being poorly matched?”
Elena glanced up, a green bean dangling from the end of her fork. “Are you serious?” she asked, brow wrinkled in confusion. “Were you there the day we met? You’re like Mr. Perfect to my walking disaster.”
Liam shrugged. Their meeting had been awkward, but it was hardly an indication of compatibility. “Everyone has bad days.”
“Some of us have more than others,” Lena said, setting her fork on the edge of her plate. “And by some of us, I mean me.Ihave more bad days than most people. It’s the curse of Murphy’s Law.”
What the bloody hell was Murphy’s Law? There was no mention of it in her background check. Shit. Had the security team missed something? “I have to be honest, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”
Elena laughed, but the sound rang hollow. “You’ve never heard of Murphy’s Law?”
Liam shook his head slowly.
“It states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Basically, everything I touch turns to sh—crap.”
Oh, thank Christ. For a minute, he’d been worried it was something serious.
Liam nearly burst out laughing, but he bit his tongue and searched for an appropriate response. After all, he wanted to be supportive of his fake girlfriend.
“We have a similar axiom across the pond,” he said, trying to remember the specifics. “It’s called Sod’s Law.”
“And?” Elena asked, arching a brow as she picked up her fork and speared another green bean.
He wasn’t about to tell her that Sod’s Law went one step further to suggest the victim was being mocked by fate. Instead he said, “And I don’t put much stock in meaningless axioms.” He shrugged, searching for the right words to put her mind at ease. “Who knows, perhaps one day you’ll wake up and realize your bad luck is truly a blessing in disguise.”
Chapter Five
Lena laughed right in the prince’s face. Not her best moment, but she couldn’t help herself. It was sweet of him to try to make her feel better about her shitty circumstances, but she had a lifetime of experience to prove there was no silver lining to this curse, not the least of which was the death of her parents. “If Murphy’s Law is a blessing, it’s a blessing I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”
Herpendejoex on the other hand…
“Come now, it can’t be that bad.” Humor danced in Liam’s eyes as he picked up his utensils and began cutting his meat. “Sure, the media’s been a bit tough on you, but now you’re on a date with the World’s Most Eligible Bachelor,” he said in a self-deprecating tone that told her just how ridiculous he found the moniker. “I’d say things are working out brilliantly.”
Lena snorted. “Says the guy who likes to trespass for funsies.”
Liam ignored the dig and took a bite of his dinner, chewing slowly as his impeccable manners no doubt dictated. Damn. The man really was perfection with his glossy black hair, pale blue eyes, and the kind of chiseled jaw usually reserved for models and actors. It was completely unfair. Handsome, charming, and a crown prince? No wonder he was so used to getting his way. She’d bet no one in his life ever challenged him, not really. And though he was trying to be gracious about her craptastic luck, it just spurred Lena to prove her point. The prince might be right about a lot of things, but he was wrong about her, and she was going to make him admit it one way or another.
“When I was nine, I tried to make flan de queso for my mom’s birthday and caught the stove on fire. The fire department showed up with lights and sirens, but needless to say, it wasn’t a happy birthday.” Understatement. After her mom had showered her with kisses, relieved she hadn’t been burned to a crisp, she’d screamed herself hoarse lecturing Lena on fire safety.
“Kitchen fire, huh?” The left side of Liam’s mouth lifted in a sexy half smile. “When I was ten, I accidentally dumped a bucket of horse dung on a visiting dignitary. My parents were livid, and I had to help clean the stable for a month.”
“Only a month? That’s nothing,” Lena scoffed, although she had to admit she was curious, because, honestly, how did one accidentally dump a bucket of horse manure on a guest? Gross. “When I was thirteen, Nia and I snuck out to see a midnight showing ofTwilight—full disclosure, I was obsessed with sparkly vampires—but we never even made it to the show. A police officer spotted us hopping the subway turnstile and promptly escorted us home. My parents grounded me for three months. One for sneaking out, one for hopping the turnstile, and one for scaring the crap out of them with my police escort,” she said, ticking off the reasons on her fingers.
“You little rebel,” Liam said, delivering each word in slow seduction, as if his accent could be weaponized in their battle of wills. Oh, who was she kidding? It totally could. He leaned close, resting his forearms on the table, and she drank in the sight of him, memorizing every slope and angle of his face so she could draw it later. “The first time I went to a party at uni, I got so drunk I threw up on my date.”
Lena snort-laughed and clapped a hand over her mouth, imagining Mr. Perfect sloppy drunk and tossing his cookies. When she finally got control of herself, she held up a hand. “Wait a minute. Are you one of those one uppers? The kind of guy who always has to be the best at everything?”
Liam flashed her a cocky smile and spread his hands wide. “Well, I am God’s hand on Earth.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” Lena said, giving him an equally sure smile, “because I’m pretty sure the notion of divine right isn’t a real thing, and you’d be the biggest ass on the planet if you actually believed that bulls—nonsense.”
Liam just smirked, as if challenging her to continue.
Arrogant ass. He’s actually enjoying this, provoking me intentionally.
