Page 42 of Daddy's Christmas Rescue
After a while, I whispered, "Do you ever get scared that he'll get tired of it? That you'll be too much?"
She shook her head, curls bouncing. "Nope. Sometimes I think it, but that's just the old voices in my head. Duke always says, Littles are never too much. They're just enough. And if someone doesn't want all of you, they're not your Daddy."
I wanted to believe that. I wanted it so much it made my chest ache.
Gemma picked up a sparkly sticker and pressed it to my hand. "Here. For being brave."
It was a tiny thing—a pink heart rimmed in glitter. But I stared at it for a long time, not sure what to say. "Thank you," I managed.
"You don't have to thank me," she replied. "That's what friends do."
Chapter fourteen
Blake
“Coffee?” I nodded my assent to Duke and tried to drag my eyes away from Holly. “How’s she doing?” I didn’t know how to start. Duke poured the coffee and slid it across, but I barely tasted it.
“She doesn’t want her bunny back,” I said finally. “She hasn’t touched any of the new toys I got her. She sits quiet, polite, but it’s like she’s afraid of slipping. If I ask if she wants to color or play, she just says she’s fine. She doesn’t even wear the socks I bought her, and her toes are freezing half the time.”
Duke didn’t laugh. He never did. He leaned back, arms crossed over his chest, and waited. I hated how much I needed to talk about this.
“She told me she doesn’t want to be my Little,” I admitted. “She said she doesn’t need fixing.”
Duke nodded, not surprised. “That happen before or after we got her back?”
I exhaled. “After. She was crying and I tried to tell her I didn’t pity her, but she thinks the toys meant I didn’t see her as a woman. That I just wanted to fix her.”
Duke sipped his coffee, then shrugged. “You ever think maybe she believes she can't have both? Most do. But she’s been told her whole life that needing comfort makes her weak. You don’t unlearn that overnight.”
“She’s embarrassed,” I said. “She looked at Amanda and thinks I want someone polished, confident. Not a girl who sleeps with a stuffed rabbit and hides behind a blanket.”
“She probably thinks you’ll get tired of it,” Duke said. “That’s what Gemma worried about, at first. That I’d get bored and want someone who didn’t need so much, when really it was me that needed her more.”
I met his gaze and understood. Guys like Duke came home and didn't think they deserved anything soft. That their only worth was holding a gun, and when the war was over everyone just wanted to forget.
“I’ll never get tired of her,” I said quietly. “I just want her to be happy. Safe. I don’t care if she wants to color for the rest of her life, as long as she’s not scared anymore.”
Duke smiled, but it was sad. “She’ll believe you. Eventually, but she doesn't think you want more. That it isn't all about a rescue. But you gotta show her. Not just with toys and words. You gotta see her. All of her. Even when she’s angry, or sad, or whatever the hell else she is.”
I glanced over at Holly. She was on the rug next to Gemma, coloring. Gemma had wrapped her in a cloud blanket and she was clutching some ratty dog toy like it was the most valuable thing in the world.
“She looks happy,” I said. “At least for now.”
“Gemma's showing her it's okay to want things,” Duke said. “That’s the difference.”
I stared down at my coffee. “How do I get her to trust it? To trust me?”
Duke shrugged again. “You just keep showing up. Don’t flinch when she’s a mess. Don’t flinch when she’s not. You let her ask for what she wants, even if what she wants changes day to day.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t sure I knew how. “Holly needs everything and then hates herself for it.”
Duke’s mouth twisted. “Sounds like you need her as much as she needs you.”
I snorted. “Its driving me insane.”
Duke grunted, then lowered his voice. “Look, if you ever bring this up I’ll deny ever opening my mouth, change jobs and probably move to a new country—”
I shot him an amused smile. “Yes, Sir."
