Page 91 of Sugar & Sorcery
The image dissolved, replaced by another.
Arawn lay sprawled on the frozen floor of a kitchen (surely Zelda’s castle, judging by the sheer scale of the place and the pallid gleam of marble beneath him). Purple scars streaked his body like fractures. Inks of shadow seeped from him, his frame curled tight, arms locked around his knees as if holding himself together by force.
His Spirits laid their hands on his shoulders, their shapes sagging. He shoved them away with a hoarse snarl, and at once, they vanished into the dark. Nyla entered the kitchen. A mask veiled part of her face, likely shielding her from the mist rippling around him.
“I look pathetic,” Arawn murmured, with his usual biting bitterness.
“Shut up,” I hissed, heart hammering.
I didn’t want to miss a single crumb of this memory.
Nyla knelt before him and searched his bloodshot eyes, crimson tears carving paths down his face. She didn’t speak, only gathered boxes across the counter. My chest tightened.
“Don’t forget,” she said at last, her voice as sharp as it was weary. “The pain you inflict on yourself, you inflict on me as well. You haven’t eaten the sucremort, have you? I’m taking risks for you. If Zelda finds out I’ve stopped making it, she’ll?—”
“No. And I could say the same for you,” Arawn shot back, his tone venomous. “Your thoughts aren’t on your confections but on someone else. Your emotions betray you. And I hate hearing them endlessly… worse still, tasting them. Love is a weakness.”
Nyla slowly removed her mask. Her face was more marked than I remembered, worn down by time and exhaustion. New wrinkles ran along her features, silver streaks threading through her pixie cut.
“What I feel belongs to me.”
The bond between a confectioner and her sorcerer. That was when I understood. Nyla had been Arawn’s confectioner. A connection deeper than words tied them. A connection that even I had never fully shared with him. The revelation left a bitter taste on my tongue.
“I wish that were true, believe me,” he muttered, his gaze darkening on Nyla. “You don’t have much time left. Your heart is at its end.”
“Hey, monster slumped on the floor,” Nyla scoffed, wiping away a tear in one swift motion. “What has Zelda ordered of you this time?”
Arawn tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. “She ordered me to slaughter my home village. She says I’ve lost my edge. There was… a librarian. He reminded me of someone from my old life, but it was all a blur.” He shook his head, a muscle twitching in his jaw. “It doesn’t matter. I left no survivors. At least Zelda suspects nothing.”
“Good. We don’t have a choice.” She clenched her fists to hide their tremor. “You won’t betray me, will you?”
“I may be a monster, but what monster enjoys being chained? Zelda has her toys, her slaves, her unfair bargains, I don’t want to be their keeper and their executioner. She’s almost hollow now. She’s not who she once was.”
“Don’t tell me she used to be charming. I wouldn’t believe you.” Nyla held out a soft marshmallow. “Eat. I used to make these for my daughter.”
I collapsed to my knees, holding my breath, as if that alone could pause the memory here.My daughter.
“It’s the first time you’ve admitted out loud you have a daughter,” Arawn said with a dark chuckle.
“Because I didn’t trust you. And besides, it’s none of your concern.”
He bit into the sweet. “Is she a confectioner too?”
“No,” my mentor said. “She was not blessed by the golden apples. Her heart has too many cracks for the sugar to fully answer, but… I couldn’t shatter her dream.”
A fissure split inside me. Like a cut you don’t feel yet, but that already bleeds. My hand clutched my chest. So Nyla had never believed in me? All of it… was just to keep a little girl’s grief busy until she figured out on her own she didn’t belong. My fingers dug harder until my nails pierced the fabric.
“You gave her a grimoire and that damn letter, knowing perfectly well she’d never unlock it. You’re more cruel than I thought.”
“If she applies what I taught her, she’ll have a few recipes, and that will be enough… And one day, she’ll grow up, let it go, and live a better life far away from all this.”
Sugar was my whole life. How could she think that? She had watched me. She had seen me try again and again, day after day. She had said that if I worked harder, I’d be like her. My lungs didn’t have enough air left to cry. I wanted to scream. To demand an explanation. I just wanted the truth.
“You’re wrong. Nothing is more stubborn than a child’s dream,” Arawn murmured.
Nyla slumped against the edge of the counter, struggling to stay upright.
You lied to me, Nyla. You looked at me every day with that same smile… and you didn’t even believe in me. Why… Why didn’t you ever tell me?
