Page 88 of Sugar & Sorcery
Yeun smiled. I skewered him with a glare.
“What the hell are you smiling at?”
“You’re terrified,” Yeun said, inching closer.
Terrified? Me? The notion was absurd.
“Impossible,” I scoffed. “I fear neither death, nor anything else.”
“Not death, no,” Yeun conceded, unflinching before the venom in my tone. “But you’re afraid of losing your humanity. You cling to it, whether you admit it or not.”
I opened my mouth to retort, but Yeun darted forward, silencing me. His flame flickered violet. “And now that you’vetasted what it means to have a reason to live, to actually be alive after centuries of emptiness… you’re afraid of losing it all. Of losing her. And you can’t admit it. I felt the same when I lost the last member of my family. He was my best friend. Every day, I prayed he would come back… I still do.”
“You don’t think he’s probably dead, after all this time?” I asked, bored.
“You really have no empathy. Not even for the dead.”
I swallowed stiffly. “Sorry.”
Yeun burst into laughter. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you apologize.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
The weight of his words settled between us. Outside, the rain ceased, though the mist remained, thick and unyielding. I lowered my gaze to my black claws, inhuman, a reminder of what I was. Darkness crept further, dark violet veins crawling now up my neck.
I flexed my fingers. No more gloves to hide the truth. If I wanted my magic back, I had to face it—face my fears, my weaknesses—and annihilate them once and for all.
“You’re right, Yeun,” I finally muttered.
Yeun nearly lost his flame with excitement. “I’m so glad you admitted it!”
I cut him a look sharp enough to cleave steel. “Don’t celebrate too soon. I won’t change my mind.” I slumped against the floor, a thin dry bitter smile, pulling at my lips. “Absurd, isn’t it? To finally understand the worth of being human, just when I must renounce the only dream I’ve ever had. In my dreams, it’s not so terrible.”
“When you close your eyes… you see her, don’t you?”
I didn’t even bother denying it. Instead, I simply nodded.
Yes, I was afraid. Terribly afraid.
Afraid that once fully Cursed, she would be erased from my hearts.
But if that happened, she would seduce me all over again so easily. I would know her. Anywhere. Anytime.
“For the first time, both my hearts agree on something. At first, I wanted an end. For Zelda. For me. But now…” A dry laugh escaped me. “Now it drives me mad how much I care for her. How much I want to stay alive. For her.” I inhaled slowly, exhaled, my shoulders sinking. “But I must do it for another reason. One far more important than simply ending this.”
“To protect her?” Yeun had shifted to his human form, stretching out on the floor beside me.
“I thought what I felt was just the bond between a confectioner and a sorcerer. Because, in theory, I’m incapable of feeling anything on my own.”
Yeun tilted his head, amusement glimmering in his butterfly-like eyes. “Is that why you keep slipping away to the human world? You’re plotting something, aren’t you?”
I allowed myself a true smile at last. Sharp, resolute, with a touch of cruelty (aimed only at myself).
“At last, Yeun. I have a purpose.”
I would protect her.
Even if it meant protecting her from me.
