Page 128 of The Kiss Of Death
He smiled. “You’re truly a woman now, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry I’m not like Mom,” I said, my lips shaking. “I aspire to be like her, but I…”
“You’re you, I get that.” He nodded. “I may not understand why you feel the need to play at Pantheon’s opera for her but never doubt that I miss her so much too. I—you’re as stubborn as she was, always trying to see the best in everyone. You got that from her. You got your crappy character from me, though.”
I smiled.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as his eyes landed on mine. “You really like him, don’t you?”
“I do, Dad. I always did.”
“Fine.” A nerve clenched his jaw. “I’ll meet with him.”
My eyes widened. “Really?” He nodded. I fidgeted my hands together. “Can we invite him over for Christmas?”
Dad let out a crisp smile. “Sure.”
I jumped into his arms and hugged him tight. “Thank you, Dad.”
“What if you tell yourboyfriendthat, and then we’ll watch the photo album with the fencing pictures of your mom?”
He’s never wanted to look at those pictures before.I felt butterflies dancing in my belly. “I’d love that.”
He departed from my room, and I texted Levi.
Me:You’re invited tomorrow for our Christmas dinner!
It was the first Christmas I was looking forward to.
But Levi didn’t reply.
For hours, I fixated on the URL link, a solitary touch away from unraveling the truth in a dismal motel room. Being back in that shithole made me feel nostalgic. If my little thief could face her father, I certainly could face my mother’s ghost. The cold air crept in through the open window, probably alongside her ghost, probing me to finally press enter.
What if she sends me around in circles again? What could she have to say to me?My father was nonexistent, my grandparents abandoned us, and Patrice was a narcissistic pervert. There was nothing more to the story.
I pressed enter.
The web page loaded until it revealed a single folder labeled “thoughts.”
Thoughts?Thoughts on what? Me? Were they thoughts about how much I destroyed her life? Something burned within the confines of my chest. I downloaded the folder—the perfect Trojan horse for being hacked, which would have been ironic. But this time, it wasn’t one of my mother’s jokes. Once the download was complete, I had access to a folder with hundreds of notes, all annotated and classified by numbers.
I was inside my mother’s brain.
Note 1:
Answers.
Levi, if you found those notes, it means that you managed to decipher the scores. We played our last game together—thisone was my best work. If you didn’t find this, you’ll never know, and maybe it’s for the best. It means you’re okay, and that you moved on from me. But if you’re reading this, it means you haven’t given up on me, that there is still hope that you could forgive me. I never found the courage to tell you, so hopefully, my notes can speak for themselves.
I read each of the following notes, holding my breath until I was on the verge of losing consciousness.
And at the end, I threw my computer away, a burst of rage taking me in.
“Hello, Mother, it’s been a long time,” I said, rooted in front of her family vault—as if she thought I’d be buried next to her someday, my anger anchoring me so firmly it felt like my feet could pierce the ground underneath. “Well, it’s been years, to be exact, since I’ve spoken to you.”
I smirked, tossing a bouquet on her tombstone. They were the ones she loathed the most—yellow roses. “Years since you decided to abandon me, and write that shitty letter and treasure hunt. You couldn’t just have told me the fucking truth, huh? You had to make me do this?”
No replies. Nothing.
