Page 123 of The Kiss Of Death
“But no onewillsee you,” I said, steam clouds forming as I spoke. “My mother chose pills. You want to torture yourself, to feel the fall and the regrets; she wanted to leave this world fast and numb the pain.”
“Your mother…” Michel or should I say, Miguel, blurted out, and when I took another step forward, he removed a hand from the barrier to signal me to stop. “If you get any closer, I swear I’ll jump!”
I raised my hands, feeling my heartbeat in every damn part of my body. Fuck.What can I do?
“This has to stop. I need to stop feeling this way.” He was crying more and more. “I thought you were my friend, Levi! I saw you as an example. I wanted to major in computer sciences just like you. I looked up to you, but you treated me like shit and left me with the Pioneers. You’re an asshole, and I hate you!”
“And now, I’ll be the last face you see before you jump. Isn’t it perfect? Torturing yourself until the very end. But you’re right about me. I’m an asshole,” I said calmly, seizing the opportunity. He was gazing up at the sky, so I crossed the railing to be on the same side as him. The void beckoned, and I stepped forward, my feet dislodging a lone rock, sending it tumbling into the abyss below.
His wide gaze shifted back to me, both of his hands now tightening their grip on the balcony railing. “What are you doing?”
“Jumping with you,” I offered. “Although I’d prefer not to—I’ve finally experienced what it’s like to feel something for someone, so frankly, death doesn’t interest me anymore.”
“You even want to take my suicide from me. With my luck, they’ll only mention your name.” His chin trembled, and tears formed again. “I’ll be invisible again.”
I knew how he felt.
That was why I’d wanted her to remember me in the first place.
“I saw the upgrade you did to my chess game. Pretty impressive. I could use your skills someday,” I whispered.
“Are you here to offer me a job?” His voice made a bunch of crows fly away from the trees.
“I agree the timing doesn’t work in my favor right now.” I paused, watching him glance at the void, then at me.He’s unsure.“Think of all the people you’ll hurt if you jump.”
He chuckled. “Right, I’m a burden for my own family. If I die, I’ll make their lives better. They’ll be free of me. I’m doing them a favor.”
His words ignited something primal within me, my blood boiling in my veins.Doing them a favor.Did my mother think she was doing me a fucking favor?
“You’re dead wrong,” I snarled, my voice breaking. “They’ll spend the rest of their pathetic lives wondering what they did wrong. Why they were so powerless to stop you! Why they didn’t see it coming. They’ll rot with guilt, blaming themselves for losing you. You’ll shatter them because you chose the coward’s way out, and, eventually, they’ll think of dying too.”
The ghosts, they never go away. That vision of horror never left my mind. That guilt, that endless guilt, gnawed at me like a carnivorous worm consuming my corpse little by little.
“It’s wrong. You’re only here because of your conscience,” Miguel spat.
“I don’t have a damn conscience,” I retorted with venom, carefully edging closer to him along the balcony’s edge. The idea of stumbling to my demise would be downright comical. Levi Delombre, attempting to play the damn hero, only to wind up with his only prized possession, his skull, splattered on the pavement.
I could overpower him and drag him back from the edge, but he’d try again someday. He’d find another way. I had to make a point.
“I’m here because my mother thought just like you,” I growled, locking eyes with him. “And I couldn’t do anything about it. It was all my fault. It made me into the unlovable asshole that I am today.”
“But I’m hurting, I feel so lonely, my family is better left without me and—” He was tearing up, his fingers clawing at his scalp as if he wanted to rip the hair out of his head. “I deserve to die! And this isn’t about you, but me, Levi! Me!”
“You fucking don’t deserve to die.” I raised my voice. “This isn’t about me, or maybe it is, because I can’t let you waste your life because of people like me! I grew up being a freak, so I know how it feels. You wanted to be like me, well, congratulations, you’re about to become another bitter, miserable bastard likeme. Isn’t that fantastic?” My laughter was hollow, tinged with bitterness. “No one will ever love me! But people actually care about you. Don’t do that to them.”
“I’m going to do it.” His voice shook. “It’ll never stop. They’ll never stop. I’m all alone. I can’t—”
He closed his eyes, one foot into the void. Act fast. Think fast. I was the one to find her.Mom lying on the floor. The letter in her hand. Her eyes open, unblinking, soulless. Her cold white skin.Act fast. Think fast.
Check.
Check.
I’m about to lose. He’s about to jump.
Checkma—
“Fine, then, let me help you,” I said.
