Page 53 of Danger Close
Ricky shifted, as if remembering the weight of that night in his bones.
“He tried to get me to talk, because I hadn’t been.I was just walking around, apparently like the undead, and he was sick of it.He told me the truth, laid it out and bitch-slapped me with it.”
Ezra’s breath hitched.“Tell me you didn’t believe that.”
“I did.Then.Because fear lies in your ear and pretends to be logic.”Ricky ran a hand through his hair.“I said some awful shit.And he fired back without thinking.Told me ...maybe I wasn’t Pathfinder enough to handle the field.”
Ezra’s jaw tightened.“That’s not true.”
Ricky smiled without mirth.“It didn’t matter.Marsh was the one who taught me how to belong.So, when it came from him ...it hit like a hammer.Marsh was the first guy who said I was more than just a body with a past.”
“He was your anchor,” Ezra said quietly.
“Yeah.”Ricky looked down.“And he cut the line.Just for a second—but that was all it took.”
Another silence passed.This one gentler.
“I left that night,” Ricky said.“No confrontation.No yelling.Not even a goodbye.”
Ezra’s heart ached.“You thought the team agreed with him.”
“I didn’t know,” Ricky admitted.“I didn’t ask.I was already halfway gone, and I didn’t want the answer.”He turned to look at Ezra then, eyes solemn.“It really wasn’t just about what he said.It was that he said it.He knew my fault lines.And he used them.”
Ezra’s hand found Ricky’s on the stone wall.“He regrets it.”
“I know.”Ricky’s voice was soft.“He told me.In his way.But it doesn’t erase it.Just ...explains it.”
Ricky let his breath out slowly and said, “You want to know why it hurt so bad?It wasn’t just because he said it.It was because of Khasham.”
Ezra turned toward him, waiting.
“2018,” Ricky said.“Mission went sideways.We got caught in the crossfire.Bad intel.I hesitated to kill these two women who were brainwashed and hell bent on killing all of us.Marsh ended up killing them both, close wet work with knives while I stood there, bleeding.We got separated from the rest of the team, and that big son of a bitch dragged me out of the fire.Literally.I was shot in the thigh, couldn’t see straight from blood loss.
“We holed up in a bombed-out med station.No power.No medics.Just Marsh, me, and a shitload of enemies outside.Rounds and mortar fire trying to rip us a new one, and me, feeling sorry for myself.And I was so fucking sure we were going to die.Marsh had to kill two women to save me, and now we were going to die in that godforsaken place.”
Ezra’s breath stilled.
“I told him, that night, that I felt like I didn’t belong, that I felt like an imposter That I wasn’t like the rest of the team—wasn’t made for this life.And he...”Ricky’s voice faltered.“He sat with me all night, held my hand, and told me I mattered.Said if anyone made me feel like I didn’t belong—including my own fucked-up brain—they were wrong.”
A beat.
“I limped out of that warzone because of him.Because he believed in me.And then, years later, he threw that same blade into my chest.”
Ezra’s heart cracked wide open.
Ricky stared out into the dark.“I left that night.Because he knew where my cracks were.And he used them against me.”
Ezra touched his knee gently.“But you came back.”
“I did.”Ricky’s voice was quiet.“Because I believed in this place.In the Pathfinders.In what we are building.”
Ezra squeezed his hand.“You came back.You forgave.”
“Still working on that last one,” Ricky said with a crooked smile.“But yeah, I did.”
They sat in silence, hand in hand, the sky yawning wide above them.
Inside the Ridge, people were healing.Together.Even when it hurt.
