Page 59 of Spoil
I hoist Danny up onto my chest so I can reach into my back pocket for my phone. Nell reaches her hands out to take her from me, but I can’t let her go yet.
I dial a number.
“Tina. Are you working tonight?” She barely responds before I continue. “I’m here with my daughter. I need a private family suite, and I need you to look at her right now.” I manage to keep the shake out of my voice, but just barely.
She tells me to hand the phone to the receptionist, who takes it, listens, and widens her eyes at me.
She ends the call, hands my phone back, and motions to the elevators. “Floor four.”
I nod and stomp to the elevators, stabbing the up button until the bell dings with the arrival of the car.
Nell’s silent as we ride up, and I’m grateful for it. I’m well aware I’m freaking out. I’m also well aware of what a child’s casket looks like.
Tina’s face is the first thing that greets us as the doors slide open. I heave a sigh of relief.
“We have you in four-oh-seven,” she says, guiding us down the hall into an empty room. I follow, laying Danny down on the gurney gently.
Tina pulls on a pair of gloves from a thing on the wall. “What seems to be going on?” I falter, but Nell saves me.
“Two hours ago, she spiked a fever of one-oh-one point six. I gave her five milliliters of Tylenol, and when she went to bed, her fever was gone,” Nell says, her hand coming to rub gently on my tense back.
“I see,” Tina says, motioning for the nurse that followed us in to take Danny’s temperature. She does before saying, “Ninety-eight point five.”
Tina feels around Danny’s neck, her armpits, her groin, before gently pressing in on her stomach. Danny squirms and mumbles in her sleep, but doesn’t wake.
Satisfied, Tina pulls her gloves off.
“Well, her lymph nodes aren’t swollen, her stomach is soft and non-reactive, her temperature is managed for now, but I’m glad you brought her in. We’ll keep an eye on her overnight, and if her fever returns, we can run an IV to keep her hydrated and administer meds as needed. When she wakes up, I’d like to take a look at her eyes and throat, but right now rest is the best thing for her,” Tina says, and I nod gratefully. I wrap my arm around Tina’s shoulders in a side hug. It might not be professional, but Tina’s family. She’s Harrison’s sister’s wife and one of the first members of The White Envelope.
“Thank you, Tee,” I say, suddenly exhausted.
I slump in the chair next to Danny’s head and hold her hand in mine. I splay her small fingers against my palm. She looks so small in such a large bed. Her hand looks tiny in mine.
“The call button is here, sir. Press it if you need anything,” the short nurse says, showing me the button attached to a cord.
I nod, the adrenaline from earlier fading and a numbness creeps in.
After a long, silent moment of just watching Danny’s chest rise and fall softly in sleep, Nell walks over and runs a hand up and down my back soothingly. I stiffen. My fear may have ebbed, but my anger hasn’t.
“Not here. Not now,” I say, and her hand stills before it leaves my back.
She walks to the opposite side of the room and sits in one of the chairs.
“You’re angry at me,” she says, and I pinch my eyes closed. I really wanted more time to calm down before we hashed this out, but I guess I’m out of time.
I set Danny’s hand down on the bed and push to my feet. I drag both hands through my hair in frustration, blowing out an angry breath. After pacing a few laps in the small room, I stop, leveling her with a glare.
“What else can I do?” I ask, hurt and despair finally joining anger when I look into her sad green eyes.
“What do you mean?” she asks quietly; carefully.
“I’ve offered you everything. Money, a home, me - my body, my mind, my soul, my life. But it’s not enough.” A hot, angry tear squeezes out and burns a path down my cheek. I swipe at it roughly, but Nell didn’t miss it. “I’m a man, laying everything I can at your feet, begging you to see me - to choose me. And you prefer to live in a basement, alone. I...” I bite my lower lip and turn away so she can’t see it wobble. I fist my hair again in frustration but remain staring out of the dark windows.
Her voice is small when she responds, but I hear every word like a physical blow. “I promised my father I wouldn’t let the family fall apart.”
“That’s not your family!” I whisper-shout, spinning on her. “You’re a slave to them! Family doesn’t treat family like that, Nell! This...us...” I say, angrily pointing between Danny and her and me, as if my motions can make her understand better. “We’re your family. Family loves each other. Family’s there for each other. Family wouldn’t treat you like you’re disposable. Why can’t you see that?!”
Nell bites her bottom lip now, but I catch the tremor there. She sets her jaw stubbornly, but my heart breaks when twin streams of tears pour down her cheeks. My chest heaves as my heart feels torn in two. I hate making her cry. I want to rush over to her, to hold her and tell her it will all be okay. But the image of mattresses on a concrete floor has my blood still boiling. The hurt that knowing she would still rather choose that life over me is too fresh to ignore. I’m not a prideful man, but feeling so completely worthless and lacking is a hard pill to swallow. That everything I am, everything I can offer, still isn’t enough.
