Page 16 of Spoil
“She knows about you. I haven’t kept any secrets. I told her she has a daddy and that he would be with us if he could, but that we couldn’t find each other again.”
Her face is nothing but heartbreak and pain.
I can’t stand it. No matter what this means for me, or for us, Nell doesn’t cry. It propels me into motion.
I sit next to them on the couch, and go to hug them, but stop first. “May I?”
She nods, but then we both wait for Danny’s answer. Consent is important, and it’s never too early to learn.
She nods too, so I wrap my arms around both of my girls.
“Whatever happens, it’s all going to be okay. Okay? No more tears.” Nell takes a few more minutes of sniffing and face wiping.
I pull away from them.
“I’ll be right back.” I sprint down the hallway into the Green Room and grab a cloth napkin from behind the bar.
“What’s going on? Are you alright?” Cass asks, noticing my agitation.
“Great! Wonderful! Back in a minute.”
I run back to my office and hand Nell the napkin for her face. Danny’s deep green eyes watch me as if I’m a puzzle she’s trying to figure out. But I wrap my arms back around them, holding them until her mother’s crying slows and eventually stops.
“I have a diary for you. It’s at the house. It’s her life growing up and pictures. I didn’t know if... you’d want to be a part of her life if you found us again...”
“I looked,” I interrupt. “I looked everywhere for you. I hired private investigators. I hired hackers to try to find you. I couldn’t let you go. Not after that night. If I had known...”
My throat tightens with emotion. She nods sadly.
“Where are you two staying? Can I drive you home? Can I visit?”
Nell hesitates, and my hope deflates. “Maybe we should find my phone?”
Dejected, I nod. That was not the answer I was hoping for, but it seems like a lot has happened in the last five years, so I won’t push her on it. I’ll be in their life in whatever capacity they’ll have me. Even if it’s just driving them home.
I help her stand, with Danny in her arms, wrapped like a koala.
As we walk down the hallway back to the rooms, I escort her with a hand on her lower back, praying it brings back some memory of that day and how good we were together. If it does too, she gives no indication.
We check room after room until we find her phone on the counter of room eleven.
I wonder what she’s thinking, walking her daughter through a sex club, but most of the toys are hidden behind decorative cabinetry. Except the St. Andrew’s cross. But a four-year-old wouldn’t know what it was other than a weird-looking bench.
She shoves her phone in her purse and turns to me, giving me a sad look. I don’t like it.
“Please, just let me drive you home. We don’t have to talk. I won’t make it weird. I’ll just give you my phone number, and you can decide where we go from here. Please?” I beg. And then add much quieter. “I can’t lose you again.”
She nods, and I lead her to the front door. Grabbing a pen and paper from the receptionist’s desk. I write my number and hand it to her. I’m desperate for more. More touch, more time, more words, I want to know everything about her life, and the last five years. I want to kidnap them and take them home with me and make sure they never cry again.
But deep down, I know it needs to be at her pace. She needs to decide what parts of their life she’s willing to give me.
And all I can do is pray.
Chapter ten
Penelope
My heart hurts.
