Page 72 of Save the Drama for your Mama
“And he’s my Coopy poopy.”
What? No, no, no! That’s not romantic!
That sounded like someone with irritable bowel syndrome.
“You get so emotional talking about our love, it turns to gibberish.” I patted her on the back a little too hard, almost knocking her forward. “There, there . . . I don’t need coherent words from you. Your actions are loud enough.” I lifted her hand and kissed the top of it.
Melody’s mouth dropped open, watching my lips on her hand, but then recovered and said with a flirty smile, “Cooper is my everything!”
Much better! Thank you!
“How did he propose, then?" Larissa asked.
“Oh, it was in a hot-air balloon at sunset,” I improvised. “I popped the question as we floated over the city.”
Melody nodded, latching onto my arm, hugging me close. “It was magical!”
“That’s odd—I heard Cooper was afraid of heights,” Lucinda said. “I’m pretty sure I read that in an interview of yours inPeoplemagazine.”
“Well, it’s true I used to fear heights,” I explained. “But Melody gives me the courage to face my fears!”
“Hmmm . . . Something seems a little fishy here.” Lucinda didn’t look convinced, crossing her arms. “Let me see you kiss.”
“What?!” Melody and I said at the same time.
Larissa nodded. “It’s true. A kiss never lies. And there’s Chapstick over by the register, in case you need to grease up.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I said.
“Why not?” Lucinda said.
“Because . . .” I tried to come up with a suitable answer, even though all I wanted to do was kiss her.
Not under these conditions.
I wanted our first kiss to be special.
Not forced.
And especially not with an audience.
“Melody is a very private person,” I came up with. “She doesn’t believe in public displays of affection.”
Hopefully, that was enough to get Lucinda and Larissa off our backs and out the door, because the more we talked about kissing, the more I wanted to do it.
“Excuse me?” Melody said. “I don’t have a problem with PDA. Don’t you go put that hurt on me, Ricky Bobby.”
Talladega Nights? What on earth was she doing?!
She needed to stick to the script!
Okay, technically, there was no script, but she knew the plan!
“Don’t listen to her,” I said, trying to reel her back in so we could finish this charade and go home. “We may need some premarital counseling to deal with her intimacy issues.” I put on a solemn face. “We’ll get through this.”
“My issues?” Melody snorted and inched closer. “You’re the one who can’t handle the heat.”
“Ha!” I moved even closer. “I can handle the heat just fine, Smokey.”
