Page 5 of Save the Drama for your Mama
The man turned to them and smirked. “I can hear you, ladies. You’re objectifying me.”
“Don’t go gettin’ your breeches in a bunch,” Larissa said. “I admit I am judging a book by its cover, but I guarantee you won’t be collecting any dust on my shelf.”
“Buckskin breeches are nothing more than tight leather pants,” he said. “Do I look like Rod Stewart to you?”
“No, but I wouldn’t object if you called me Maggie May.”
“Wake up, Maggie,” Lucinda said, then frowned. “Maybe he’s not the romantic type.”
“That’s what I was saying!” I grabbed a copy ofThe Daredevil’s Redemptionby Cooper Galloway from thebestsellers’ table and turned it so the man could see the cover. “I’m sure this is more your speed.”
“You got that right,” he replied with a grunt.
“Not a surprise,” I said. “You get your kicks from an individual who seeks attention by performing reckless stunts, believing that their feats are awe-inspiring.”
“I’m glad we got that cleared up,” he said.
“Furthermore, their disregard for personal safety makes their endeavors more foolish than impressive. It’s garbage.”
“You wound me, madam.” His mouth fell open, then he placed his hand on his chest in dramatic fashion, an obvious gibe in my direction. “You haven’t read it, and then you just rip it apart? You have no right to do that.” He tapped on the sticker that was on the cover of the book, and throwing my words back at me. “Over a million copies sold. It’s not a coincidence.”
I crossed my arms. “Pride and Prejudicehas sold over twenty million copies.”
“That may be true, but it has the distinct advantage of having been released in a completely different era, so it has been exposed to more people,” he said. “I hear there were two copies of the book on Noah’s Ark.”
I didn’t think that was funny, but Larissa and Lucinda were tittering behind their imaginary fans.
“This issomuch fun,” the man added with a straight face. “Shall we discussDon QuixoteorA Tale of Two Citiesnext? Or maybeBeauty and the Beastis more your speed.”
More cackling from Larissa and Lucinda.
This man was a lost cause, and I was wasting my time.
Still, I had to ask one last question. “If you are so against this book, why on earth were you holding it for so long?”
He opened his mouth and closed it.
Of course, he had no answer.
“That’s what I thought,” I said as I turned and walked away.
“Now, who can’t handle the heat?” he called out as I raced to the door without another word.
I waved goodbye to Abigail since she was helping a customer, and made my way outside to the sidewalk, wondering why I had entered.
He’d had so much potential when I had first spotted him in the window, but that was only because he was good-looking and had a book in his hands. So much for eating with your eyes first!
I glanced back inside as the man grabbed a book from the table.He looked around, and to my dismay, he defaced it with a pen.
I. Was. Horrified.
Had he just done that toPride and Prejudice?
It looked as though the heathen was just getting started. He grabbed another book, and another, and another, defacing them all, not an ounce of guilt etched on his face. Was he going to vandalize the entire store?
There was no way I was going to let that happen.
“Hey!” I said, knocking on the window. “You stop that! Now!”
