Page 27 of Save the Drama for your Mama
“Who are you?” I said to myself.
“I’m yourvorstnightmare,” Melody as Dracula intoned behind me.
I jumped, then turned around to face her, hands on my hips. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Interesting—you’re scared of ghostsandvampires?” she said. “Anything else? Clowns? Women, maybe?”
“Not necessarily. And it wouldn’t beallwomen—just you.”
“That fear is well-warranted.” Melody handed me the Peachy Moo smoothie. “Drink at your own risk.”
“You can’t hurt me. This smoothie and I are joined by the bonds of love.” I accepted the smoothie from her and didn’t hesitate, popping the straw through the hole of the cup, taking a sip, and then another, moaning my approval.
Melody just stared at me.
“What?” I asked, taking another sip.
“Joined by the bonds of love?”
“That’s right.” I took another mighty pull and nodded.
“That sounds suspiciously close to a line fromThe Princess Bride,” she said.
I shrugged. “And?”
“That would suggest that you have seen the movie.”
“Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t.”
Melody eyed me up and down. “You have a contradiction affliction.”
“Says the antiquarian contrarian.” I took two more big sips of the smoothie, then set it on top of one of the boxes. I reached into my front jeans pocket and pulled out the money I owed her for the drink. “Here you go.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Melody said. “My treat.”
“That’s unnecessary.”
“I insist.”
“Nonsense,” I said, grabbing her wrist with one hand and slapping the exact amount of bills and coins for the smoothie into her palm with my other hand.
She clamped onto my hands before I could pull them away. “I don’t want your money.”
“I told you I would pay for the smoothie in the text,” I said, trying to tug my hands free from her impressive grip.
Melody tugged right back. “But I never told you I would accept it.”
“You never said you wouldn’t.”
She glared at me.
I glared back.
More tugging, but neither of us was letting go.
After a few seconds of strained silence, I said, “You know, if you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask.”
Melody snorted. “I have no interest in holding your hand.”
