Page 76 of The Backup Groom
Stella had seen Douchey Dennis at a restaurant the day after he moved out. She told him to go get intimate with himself, although her exact words would make a trucker blush. She also told him there should have been a public castration in the divorce settlement, and that she would have gladly volunteered to perform the procedure on him with rusty hedge clippers.
This was precisely why I loved Stella so much.
It was exactly what a best friend should say.
“Scotty loves everybody. There’s an enormous difference between the two men,” Stella said. “This was obviously meant to be, so go with it and see where it takes you. Expect the best, not the worst.”
“I have no idea why I’m so frazzled,” I said.
“Love does that to a person.”
I scoffed. “Love?”
Stella threw up her arms exasperatedly. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. And I’m telling you, girlfriend, the feeling is one-hundred percent mutual. If you don’t believe me, ask Dean. He’s seen it too.”
Who knew what it was? But after that kiss, I was certain I wanted more.
I sighed. “I’m not going to ask Dean.”
Stella smiled patronizingly. “Okay, but at least admit this if you don’t want to use the L word. You like Scotty extremely, to the tenth power. How’s that?”
I hugged my best friend. “I’ll accept that. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” Stella tapped me on the leg. “Now, tell me, what’s the plan?”
“That’s simple.” I smiled. “I want to propose to Scotty tonight.”
Stella screamed, which caught the attention of a few coworkers on the other side of the conference room glass. Worse yet, the door flew open and Huck the Schmuck entered.
He puffed his chest like a bantam rooster and glared at us. “Do you two ever work around here?” He pivoted in my direction. “And you think you can just stroll in an hour late anytime you want?”
Stella stepped toward him to defend me, like she always did. “She comes in early almost every single day, and you never acknowledge that, but one late arrival in the entire year and that’s what you focus on?” She glanced through the conference room glass to the cubicles, pointing to the outside. “I don’t see your girlfriend here yet. She comes in late five days a week. What is it today, her thrice-weekly mustache wax?”
Huck the Schmuck jabbed the inside of his mouth with his tongue. “You think that’s funny?”
Stella threw her palms up in defense. “Not at all. Personal hygiene and grooming are important, especially for her, since she’s looking a little like Tom Selleck.”
He loosened his collar, looking like he was going to throw a tantrum. “The only reason you’re still working here is because my father is friends with your mother. Otherwise, you would have been out on the street on your ass a long time ago.”
She sneered scornfully, looking like she wasn’t done with him. “I get it. You don’t want to rock the boat. It can’t be easy being daddy’s little puppet, not being able to think for yourself.”
Huck the Schmuck’s eyes blazed with fury, and he must have realized he would not get anywhere with Stella, because he turned back to me. “Andyouare going to be working very late this evening. If you have plans, cancel them.”
There was no way I was going to let that happen.
I’d had enough. It was time to take a stand.
“I quit,” I blurted out, surprising myself.
“Yes!” Stella said, lunging toward me and engulfing me with a hug. “Finally!” She pulled away from me and turned toward Huck. “I quit, too. Suck it, Schmuck.”
He actually pounded his chest. “You can’t quit. You’re fired!”
Stella smirked. “Better for us. That means we get unemployment.”
“You both are useless,” Huck the Schmuck said.
I stepped closer into his personal space, having put up with his rude behavior long enough. “Your colossal ego may think it’s okay to talk to people that way, but genuine leaders don’t control others or put them down. They lift them up.”
