Page 4 of The Backup Groom
How fast was I going to get the money?
Did I need to hire a financial planner?
Should I quit my job today?
I loved working in advertising, but hated my current position. Why couldn’t I start my own agency and get back to the creative side? There were so many possibilities, so many things to think about.
My mouth was suddenly dry. “Can I have some water, please?”
Burt glanced down at his yellow, coffee-stained legal pad, then looked up at me. “Okay, but let’s continue because things are about to getveryinteresting.” He reached behind himself inside his mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, handing it to me.
“Thank you.” I twisted off the top and took a sip as Burt started the video again.
I didn’t like the grin on Burt’s face. He knew what was coming and was obviously entertained by something Uncle G did or said.
“I hope you picked yourself up off the floor, sweetie.” Uncle G was obviously pleased with the humor of the situation.
Jimmy interrupted, “For the record, you need to specify that you are leaving Amber dollars, not actual clams.”
“Fine. Amber gets five million dollars, happy?” Uncle G said. “Hey, this is fun! I need to do this again when I die in my next life. Anyway, nothing fills my heart more than to know you are happy, but as the song goes, money can’t buy you love. What you need more than anything is a good man in your life. One who deserves someone as special as you and who cherishes you for the amazing person you are. That’s why the five milliondollarscome with strings attached.”
I most definitely didn’t like the sound of that.
Burt gestured to the screen behind him and rubbed his hands together. “Wait until you hear this part. It’s positively genius! I didn’t see it comingat all.”
I took another sip of water, wondering what had Burt so amused.
Uncle G smiled. “You only get the money if you marry Ryan Scott.”
Water shot out of my mouth. A repeat performance.
Burt stopped the video and stood, looking down at his soaked suit. “What is wrong with you?” He began dabbing things with a napkin for the second time.
I threw my hands up in the air. “You knew what was coming—why didn’t you warn me?”
“I said things were about to get very interesting!”
“That wasn’t interesting—it was absolutely ludicrous.”
Burt huffed. “What’s ludicrous is how fast you turn into a human sprinkler.”
Ryan Scott was my high school sweetheart, and yes, there was a time when I thought we would be together forever. That was ages ago, when I had a poster of the Backstreet Boys on my bedroom wall and thought they were singing every song to me. After our family moved to Carlsbad in my senior year of high school, I met my future ex-husband, and the rest is misery.
Like most of my relatives, Uncle G had really liked Ryan and had asked me more than a few times over the years if I had seen or spoken to him.
Still, I was flabbergasted by what he was asking me to do. This was not how things were done in the modern world. Were we suddenly living in the 1800s?
Burt reached over and started the video again.
“Okay, more strings . . .” Uncle G smiled. “You need to marry Ryan within six weeks. Now, I know you’re not going to enjoy this, but it’s time you stepped out of your comfort zone. You need to go find your destiny.”
“He has to be married with children by now,” I mumbled to myself. “There’s no way he’s still single.”
“And just so you know, I looked him up on Facebook with the help of a friend and saw his profile,” Uncle G said. “He’s single! Your life is too predictable and things have got to change. You don’t mind if I give you a little nudge, right?”
“That wasn’t a nudge,” I mumbled to myself. “You just shoved me off a cliff.”
There was no way I would marry someone for money.
