Page 20 of Men or Paws
“Some people don’t take no for an answer. This makes the rules crystal clear before work starts and gives me the power to fire someone without getting sued. What’s with the hesitation? You want to sleep with me already, is that it?”
Beth rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself.”
Another thing she didn’t like about me, my sense of humor.
How could she think I was serious?
Could she be any more opposite of her brother?
Beth glanced back down at the contract and began reading it out loud. “This is all so presumptuous. No sex with Rocco. No kissing Rocco. No flirting with Rocco.”
I sighed. “I’m very well aware of what it says.”
Beth thought about it. “Why not just stipulate that the person has to have morals and dignity? You certainly would save a lot of time, paper, and ink.”
I nodded. “Not a bad idea, but my lawyer says we need to spell it out for people because they’ll find a loophole or have their own interpretation of what something means.”
Beth kept reading. “No asking personal questions, no sharing intimate details of yourself or your past relationships, no swimming naked.” She shook her head in disbelief. “Did you write this?”
“I had my lawyer draft it,” I said.
Beth flipped through the pages, placing her index finger on number twenty-two of the contract. “Now, this makes sense. You don’t want people taking pictures of you and posting them on the Internet. I get that, although it’s a little redundant since it says the same thing in the NDA. What I don’t get is why you are going through the trouble of this elaborate contract with me. None of these scenarios can happen since you won’t even be here.”
I tilted my head to the side. “What makes you think I’m not going to be here?”
Beth blinked.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I added.
“You’re going to be on the property?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“At the same time that I’m watching Houdini?”
I nodded. “Well, yeah, that’s the whole idea. You watch Houdini in the guesthouse while I work in the main house. Then at some point, I relieve you of your duties and he sleeps with me at night. The next morning we repeat the process.”
Beth’s eyes bugged out in surprise and she jumped to her feet, the contract flying off her lap. “There has been abigmisunderstanding. There’s no way I’m doing this.”
Houdini lunged for the contract on the floor.
“Don’t even think about it.” I reached down and seized the contract before he could sink his teeth into it, then I stood and turned toward Beth. “Why won’t you watch Houdini if I’m here?”
“I just can’t,” Beth said.
“This makes no sense.”
“That’s because you’re not me. It makes perfect sense in my head.”
“Wait a minute . . .” I studied her for a moment, pretty sure I figured out the problem. This was going to be fun. “Are you scared to be alone with me?”
She blustered. “Hardly.”
“Intimidated?”
Beth shook her head vehemently.
“Well, then?” I said. “I was under the impression from Oliver that you could use the extra money to start a new business.”
