Page 113 of Special Delivery
‘Which was?’ asked Poppy, her voice timid.
‘There were lots of questions, actually, but the first question was: could I transfer universities?’
Okay, that had not been as significant as the lead-up suggested, but practical was fine. She could deal with practical.
‘There were other questions,’ he continued. ‘Big things I needed to consider and face up to.’
He shifted on the balls of his feet, rocking towards Poppy. ‘After I broke up with Adelaide, I wasn’t so much sad as I was angry with myself. I knew she wasn’t right for me, but I stuck around because I didn’t want to be like my dad and just leave. So instead I stayed and was miserable, and then when we broke up I resolved never to waste my time being the nice guy again. Life’s too short to be a boyfriend of Instagram. And then I met you, and here was this beautiful, intelligent, confident woman, and I literally didn’t care what you thought of me, and you were the same, and it was perfect: I could be myself because there was nothing at stake.
‘And then somehow, a year goes by and suddenly everything is at stake, and I wish I could take back all the times I’ve upset you and made you mad, but at the same time I’m so glad I did that because youknowme now. I’ve never been so honest with anyone, I’ve never been so vulnerable and so real. You know the cracks and flaws and, somehow, you still don’t hate me.’
‘I could never hate you,’ said Poppy, her heart beating thunderously against her rib cage.
James raised his eyebrow. ‘Really?’
‘Okay, but in my defence, I was chock-full of hormones when we first met.’
James smiled now, his eyes sparkling. ‘The more I saw you, the happier I became. All this resentment I’d been carrying just kind of … faded. I was so confused, because I didn’t know if I was happier because of something in me, or if I was happier because of you, and then I worked it out. It wasn’tjust about me and it wasn’t just about you; it was about us together. We were two negatives making a positive.’
Poppy’s throat felt thick. The movement of oxygen to her brain was slowing. All she could taste was sawdust and sand.
‘I was so sick of pretending,’ said James. ‘I was so scared of settling. But with you, I never pretended. We were both so real. I understand now that I don’t need to be the nice guy all the time. Sometimes people piss me off, sometimes I want to yell at Eileen for eating my shoes, sometimes I want to troll people on social media.’
‘You’d never!’ cried Poppy.
‘I might. Did you hear they might stop producing Cornflakes? I actually considered trolling the CEO.’
‘Well, that’s fair enough.’
‘Completely. But more to the point, while I was sitting in Melbourne drinking my piccolos, I realised if this last year has taught me anything it’s that life can change in an instant, and that when you find something that makes you happy, you have to grab it and hold on to it. And then I realised I’m the luckiest guy in the world because I found two somethings that make me happy. I found you and I found Maeve.’
Poppy stood rooted to the spot. She couldn’t definitively confirm it but she suspected she had stopped breathing. ‘Back to the original question,’ she whispered. ‘Could you swap universities?’
‘Yes.’ The light in James’s eyes began to dance.
‘And?’
‘I start Monday week.’ He paused. ‘And I get free parking.’
‘For the love of god,’ cried Poppy. ‘Tell me where!’
James grinned. ‘You’re looking at the newest obstetrician-in-training at CSU Orange.’
Poppy’s body reacted before her brain did. Her spare arm flung around James’s neck, and she pressed herself against his warmth. Tears were forming in the corners of her eyes and she blinked them away. This was so embarrassing, but she was sohappyhe was back. She didn’t need any labels or any commitment or anything more than this. She just needed this moment, this three-person hug.
She didn’t care she was covering him with sweat and grime, because if he complained she knew she could tell him he was ruining the moment, and he’d laugh and say she was right but she was still gross, then she would laugh and agree. She didn’t need to bite her tongue or tiptoe around anything. She didn’t need to pretend. She’d found someone with whom she could be her truest self, and she was going to keep her body pressed against his for as long as she could.
‘I was really hoping you’d react like this,’ James murmured into her hair, one arm wrapped around her back as Maeve gripped the other. ‘Otherwise, that stalking would have seemed so much creepier.’
Poppy laughed and pulled back slightly. She put Maeve in the trolley and they both handed her their keys. Maeve’s eyes widened, delighted. Double keys! Jackpot!
James took Poppy’s hands and wove his fingers through hers. ‘Poppy McKellar, sometimes I get angry and sometimes things piss me off, but when I’m with you, even the bad stuff feels easier. You make me happier than I’ve ever been before, and if you’ll accept that my intentions are completelydishonourable and I am extremely committed to getting you into bed again, I would love to take you out to dinner.’
Poppy’s heart thundered in her chest. ‘Like a date?’
‘It would one thousand per cent be a date, and I want many more dates after that. We can go to every restaurant in town, then we can try every pub, we can try every barbecue station in every park, and then maybe we can branch out to Millthorpe and Molong. By the time I’ve courted you properly, you’ll know every eatery in the Central West.’
Poppy’s head was swimming with stars. This was everything she’d been dreaming of for months and it was here, a real chance at a life with James in it, but she couldn’t walk into this blind. She had Maeve to think about. They were a package deal.
