Page 256 of Love Me Stalk Me
uhhh duh??? kinda a big deal ya know
I don’t know… feels pretty inevitable to me. Man stalks woman. Man seduces woman. Man makes woman fall in love with him. Man fucks woman so good she agrees to marry him. Classic romance arc.
omg stop this is literally NOT how people describe their wedding day
Tell me you don’t love it.
…. okay fine I love it
That’s my good girl.
I hate you
No, you don’t.
okay no i don’t but that’s beside the point you should be telling me something sweet and sentimental like “oh izzy, my beautiful bride, you have made me the happiest man alive” or somethinglike that
Oh, Izzy, my beautiful bride, you have made me the wettest man alive.
DELETE THIS CHAT RIGHT NOW
Why? I’m just saying you should send me a picture of what I’m missing before you walk down that aisle. For old time’s sake.
cal i am in my wedding dress IN MY WEDDING DRESS
Yeah, and?
AND?!?!?!?
Pretty girl, I’ve made you come while you were on a conference call for work. I think we’re past pretending you have morals.
STOP THAT WAS ONE TIME
One time too many for me to take this whole “innocent bride” act seriously. Now… about that picture.
i hate you
Again. You don’t.
i am literally about to MARRY YOU stop trying to get me naked for five seconds
Impossible. Also, the wedding night is gonna be fun.
….should i be concerned
Oh, pretty girl. You should always be concerned. For your legs.
OH MY GOD
Say your vows. Kiss me at the altar. Then prepare for at least three days where you won’t be able to sit comfortably.
omfg stop i am going to walk down the aisle to you with THIS in my brain
As you should.
i hate you so much
No, you don’t.
