Page 157 of Love Me Stalk Me
I told him he should go home. That it wasn't fair to him.
But he just shook his head and said he wasn't leaving me alone.
And the worst part?
It didn't even weird me out.
It should have.
I should be freaked out by how protective he is.
By the fact that, when he finally left for work the next morning, he installed a security camera outside my door.
By the fact that he put up an alarm.
By the fact that he said, "If anyone so much as approaches, I'll know about it."
That should make me feel smothered.
It doesn't.
It makes me feel safe.
He’s come over every night this week.
After work, he shows up at my apartment, makes me dinner, cooks extra so I have food for the next day. He tucks me into bed, tells me I’m safe. Then he sits outside my room until I fall asleep.
He’s remained patient and respectful throughout.
Never once has he pressure me to discuss what happened.
Not once has he done anything but offer quiet, steady support when I need it most.
And I don't know what to do with that.
Because all I want is him.
But I don't know if that's because I'm vulnerable or if it's because this is real.
I’ve tried to figure it out, but can’t, and the week has passed in a blur.
Most days, I sleep until noon, wake up only long enough to eat, then doze off again.
When I’m awake, I barely touch my phone.
Because the last time I did, Evan called.
It happened the day after he was released on bond.
I didn't listen to the voicemail he left.
I couldn't bring myself to hear his voice, to let him invade this space even electronically. The sight of his name alone had sent a wave of nausea crashing over me, my hands shaking so badly I could barely hold my phone.
After that, I left the device untouched for days.
It sat on my nightstand, powered off, ignored. I let theworld move on without me. It took me days to even think about talking to Caleb again. When I finally did, I only responded to his good morning messages. Nothing more.
Not until today.
