Page 103 of A Secret and a Lie
Thankfully, he remains quiet. He doesn’t offer empty platitudes or pitying remarks. He simply waits for me to continue, but this next part isn’t nearly as difficult to talk about. “I had to hide from Leo, but when he dragged me back to his office, I killed him. That was the night we were supposed to meet. I couldn’t stick around and riskbeing imprisoned for murder or have anyone else caught up in what I’d done. That night, I boarded a flight to Amsterdam.”
Ford’s hand drifts to the swell of my hip, his grip firm, reassuring.
“Leo was bad, but Grady was worse, an evil wolf in sheep’s clothing. He broke me, fractured my spirit, and forced me to birth a new version of myself.”
“There’s not a version of you that I don’t like.”
My heart flutters as I take in the sincere look in his eye. Smiling softly, I lean forward, brushing my lips against his. “Well, now you know why the woman you know today has difficulty accepting help and an even harder time trusting others.”
That night with Grady hardened me, taught me lessons about trust that I wish I’d never had to learn.
“I understand.” He lifts a hand, fingers tangling in the back of my hair. “It’s kept you safe,” he observes, voice low and gentle.
“Yes, but it also closes me off.”
“When you’re ready to let me in, I’ll be here.” He moves his other hand from my hip to hover over my heart, my pulse seeming to fly at the speed of light. “But until then, you should be careful wearing these skimpy little pajamas around me. It makes it hard to be a gentleman.”
I giggle, shoving at his chest playfully, grateful for his levity. “You finger-fucked me in the bathroom tonight. You’re far from a gentleman.”
The husky sound of his chuckle vibrates through the room. His palm trails a caress from my chest and around my waist to the globe of my ass, squeezing roughly. “There’s no one to blame but yourself. You bring out a darker side of me.”
Silence crackles between us for several moments, his hand moving to the small of my back as he continues to stroke my hair. I feel safe, deeply cared for, and it’s such a strange, foreign concept.
“And what happened with Grady? Did you kill him, too?” he questions eventually.
“Once I returned from Amsterdam, I spent two years building an impressive client list, and I suppose I have Henry to thank for alot of those connections. When I’d firmly established myself, and people began to recognize Madam Allison as someone powerful and noteworthy, I started recruiting other sex workers to work for me. We operated out of hotels and apartments until I had enough money to buy my building and turn it into what it is now.
“After I had the notoriety, I knew it was only a matter of time before Grady sought out Allison. From there, it was as easy as collecting the men as if they were rabid dogs that I kept in my basement. Then, I…disposed of them.”
He doesn’t need to know the details; those are mine, and mine alone, to relive. The smell of their deaths and the sight of their blood soothing me to sleep, their sweet cries echoing in my favorite dreams. The revenge was thoroughly satisfying, but it had nothing on the liberation that accompanied it.
After another few beats, I inquire, “Does it bother you that I’ve killed people? There have been more than just those five men.”Far more.
“I’m not the only one in bed with a murderer, Genevieve. Does that botheryou?”
“Ford,” I whisper. “That’s different; your kills are sanctioned by the government.”
“Funny, Drake tells me the same thing.” He doesn’t act like it’s humorous at all, though, falling quiet before explaining, “You know, in some circles of society, your kills would be sanctioned, too.”
I smile, unable to stop myself. I take great pride in ridding the world of people like Grady Blandon and Leo.
“Do you think we would’ve worked if we’d have met at the park like we’d planned?” I ponder aloud, changing the subject.
It’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to over the years. I like to think that we’d have lived a long and happy life together, existing in a world where Grady never hurt me and I escaped Leo’s brutal hands. I like to think we could’ve been a perfect match.
He doesn’t answer me; he simply cups my cheek before pressing his lips to mine in a kiss that I feel throughout my entire body.
Ford
Iwake up alone, the sheets beside me cold to the touch but perfumed with the lingering scent of cherry blossoms. Glancing at the clock, I find that it’s half-past five in the morning and my alarm has been turned off. I climb out of bed, dipping into my closet to pull on a pair of sweatpants before striding from the room. As I step into the hallway, I’m met with the faint stench of something burning that has my feet moving a bit faster.
The last thing I remember, Genevieve was wrapped tightly in my arms, her steady breathing lulling me to sleep. Did I push her too hard last night? Nobody has higher walls around her heart than Gen, and it’s an effort to knock them down. Every time a brick seems to crumble, I worry she’ll just replace it.
I’m taking solace in the knowledge that she crawled into bed with me of her own volition and sliced herself open as raw honesty poured out. If she hadn’t killed Grady, I’d be doing that today. He didn’t deserve oxygen after what he did to her.
As she was talking, it was allI could do not to explode. I tried to remain calm, a presence she could count on for support, allowing her the space to tell her story the way she felt most comfortable doing so.
She never should’ve had to go through that, not when I was right there. I could’ve helped her, could’ve donesomething.She shouldn’thave had to flee all by herself. But after learning what happened, I know one thing for certain: I’ve never met anyone stronger.
