Page 78 of A Secret and a Lie
His face contorts into a nasty scowl, the expression lethal, but what he doesn’t know is that I have nothing but my freedom left to lose. That makes me dangerous. It makes mepowerful.
He crouches down to become eye-level with me, clutching me by the face, his fingers and thumb digging into my cheeks painfully. My jaw strains against the pressure, but I hold his glare.
“Here’s how this is going to go—”
“No,” I interrupt, my jaw aching with the effort.
Eyes widening, his chest expands, before he laughs heartily, shoving me backward by the face. He stretches back to his full height, shaking his head. “You don’t get to make demands of me, bitch.”
My eyes zip across the room, immediately latching onto Marcus’s. With only a look, I attempt to wordlessly communicate all the things I can’t say.I’m sorry. I couldn’t do this anymore. Please don’t interfere.
Sliding my gaze back to Leo’s, I take a breath and answer steadily. “Yes, I do.”
Reaching beneath the back of my shirt, I remove the revolver I bought off the street last week, lifting it and aiming it at Leo’s chest.
I’ve never been this kind of person before now, but there’s no other way out of this. Not for me and not for the other girls that work for Leo. This is the only option to keep us all safe. I refuse to save my own neck when I have the opportunity to save us all.
He lunges for the gun, but I pull the trigger, the bullet making itself at home in his chest. His eyes flare, becoming wild and frantic. I engage the trigger again, the second shot finding his heart. Fineparticles of crimson mist shower the room as if sprayed from an aerosol can, dotting my skin and clothing.
My hammering heartbeat thumps like the footsteps of a marching band in my ears as I stare at Leo’s lifeless body now on the floor. Deep claret blood seeps from the wounds, pooling around him, his unseeing eyes staring at the white-tiled ceiling.
I killed him.
I’ve spent a week planning this, yet now that I’ve taken his life, realization kidnaps my mind.I’m a murderer.I didn’t want to consider what it would feel like earning that title, but now that I have, I’m disturbed to find that I’m not as distraught about it as I thought I might be. If anything, I’m far more alarmed by the fact that it wasn’t nearly as upsetting as I’d anticipated.
A firm, steady hand glides up my back, and I whip my head to the side to come face-to-face with Marcus.
My gaze falls to the hands that pulled the trigger that took Leo’s life and find them shaking, the gun still clutched tightly in my grasp. Marcus reaches out and carefully removes the firearm from my grip with the same care one would use when freeing an animal from a snare.
“Are you okay?”
I blink up at him, my surroundings finally coming back into focus. “Yes,” I reply with a nod, my voice raspy and breathless. “I’m sorry I didn’t—”
He shakes his head, his lips quirking slightly, effectively muting me. “I understand. If you hadn’t done it first, I would’ve eventually killed him myself. I spent every damn day trying to figure out how I could get away with it and never came up with a plan I thought would work.”
Corinne and I decided that the safest option was not to tell anyone else. The fewer people who knew what we were planning, the better. Although, I still regret that I wasn’t able to warn Marcus that he was going to be a witness to a murder.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, I realize that I need to getmoving if I’m going to make it to the airport on time. Marcus follows my gaze. “I assume you’ve got a plan cooked up?”
I grin then, the taste of freedom stretching across my face.
My chest heaves, my heart pounding as the metro doors slide closed and an automated voice informs the passengers of the next stop. The smell of piss, sweat, and stale air permeates the subway car, but I breathe it in like it’s the scent of liberation.
Adrenaline still floods my system, taking control of my body, and I smile in spite of the thrilling rush. No one is after me,yet. While there’s a chance I never get pinned for Leo’s murder, there’s an even bigger likelihood that I’m the one who will land on the police’s radar. Marcus can only hold off for so long before calling the cops, if he hasn’t already. Either way, my hourglass is rapidly draining.
There’s only one fatal flaw in this plan, one that I spentdayswrestling with. Moving to a vacant seat, I pull out my phone and log in to my messages. My stomach sinks when I see the message waiting for me that’s time-stamped yesterday morning.
@livingh3ll: Just touched down in D.C. See you tomorrow, doll.
My eyelids slam together like powerful magnets drawing them closed.Thisis what I wish I didn’t have to do. I want to have my cake and eat it, too. But that’s not possible. There’s only one path for me to walk now, and that’s the road to freedom and the ability to control my own life. Unfortunately, that means leaving, and I can’t ask a man I’ve never even met in person to accompany me.
My throat constricts until oxygen struggles to reach my lungs. While I knew I’d have to do this, I didn’t imagine it would bethisdifficult.
With a quiver in my fingers, I type a reply as my heart splinters, the jagged pieces crashing together like violent waves battering against sharp rocks. Even as I continue to breathe, I know the shardsin my chest will never quite fit together again, like a broken porcelain vase that’s been glued back together, the cracks still visible.
@dc_d0ll: I’m sorry. I should’ve trusted you.
After I hitsend, I delete my account, tears filling my vision as I shed the best thing to ever wrap around my heart, and I allow myself the next few minutes to wallow in the loss of what could’ve been.
