Page 75 of A Secret and a Lie
Lacing his fingers into my sweaty hair, he plows in and out of my mouth, and I relax my throat for him. As he comes in my mouth with a throaty groan, I wonder how I’ve misplaced my trust so spectacularly.
When he finally pulls out, he orders calmly, “Put your clothes back on.”
The world narrows as if I’ve been thrust under water and held there until all the oxygen has seeped from my lungs. I blink at him, anger, fear, and disappointment swirling in my stomach like a hurricane building in the gulf.
This isn’t how aftercare with Grady has ever gone before; he’s never justdismissed me. He’s always scooped me into his arms, held me tightly on the couch as he soothed me.
When the storm reaches a category five, I stand on shaking legs and counter with a surprisingly steady, strong voice, uncaring of our audience. “No. You used me. You let yourfriendsuse me. At the very least, you owe me aftercare.”
His hand darts out, painfully cracking across my face, leaving my cheek on fire. He grips me by the hair as his fingertips dig into my scalp, making my eyes burn with new tears as he sneers, and it strikes me that this man is nothing more than a wolf in disguise. My hands rattle at my sides as his comrades chuckle, but I simply hold my chin up, even as cum and blood leak down my legs.
@livingh3ll would never treat me like this.The thought comes out of nowhere, and it makes the backs of my eyes burn, but I stop myself from crying.
“I don’t owe you shit. You’re just a whore.”
He shoves me down, my knees buckling before slamming against the unyielding floor. I stare up at Grady, memorizing every line on his face, every strand of gray hair on his head, vowing to myself to never come back here again. No matter what Leo does to me, I will not return. But Iwillget revenge for this. I will watch as the light disappears from this man’s eyes.
A burning need to hurt him sparks to life in my chest, and I fan the flame as I slip my dress and shoes back on. By the time I’m redressed, there’s a wildfire-sized need for vengeance raging proudly in my veins.
Without another word, I scoop up my purse and give the men my back, but just as I’m about to round the corner, Grady calls, “I’ll see you Friday.”
Not a chance.
I don’t stop, don’t reply, thesnickof the front door closing behind me the only sound. Outside, I gulp down the fresh air, even as more tears prick my eyes, but I don’t cry, not until I’m three blocksaway, and pulling out my phone, ignoring the missed call from the unknown number.
Dialing for help, tears don’t fall until Marcus’s voice swims through the phone line. “Gen? What is it?”
His comforting, warm voice opens the floodgates, and between sobs, I tell him, “I need…come get me, please.”
After giving him my location, I sink onto a bench at a neighborhood park to wait.
I’m a fool. I gave my trust away too freely. I didn’t trust my own gut instincts that warned me against him in the beginning. Instead, he burrowed beneath my defenses, and I allowed him to breach my castle without so much as a breath of warning. There’s no one to blame but myself.
Everyone in this town is a liar.
Tears track down my face, falling onto my satin green dress like fat raindrops. Opening a browser on my phone, I log into my chats with @livingh3ll.
There’s a message waiting from him.
@livingh3ll: I swear you’re the only thing keeping me going.
My hiccupping sobs become more audible as I read and reread his words. Outside of Corinne and Marcus, he may be the only person worthy of my trust, the only other person who’s truly earned it.
As I type my reply, my thumbs tremble.
@dc_d0ll: How are you? You sound as if things are bad wherever you are.
I don’t know where he’s stationed, but I could guess based on the news and the state of foreign affairs at the moment. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t worried about him. No one would notify me if something happened to him, he’d just drop off the Earth, and I’d be left with nothing but unanswered questions.
My tears continue to fall as I think about what my life wouldbe like if I lost him. He owns a piece of my heart, as ridiculous as it is for me to have given that to a stranger online.
I should’ve followed his advice, should have trusted my instincts. I didn’t, and now I’m sitting on a park bench, emotionally and physically bruised. I was naïve, giving away such a precious gift so freely.
The blue light dims and I tap the screen to bring it back to life and type another message.
@dc_d0ll: I should’ve listened to you and listened to my gut. I’m developing a nasty habit of trusting the wrong people.
Locking my screen, I stare at the empty playground and declare to myself that tonight was the last night I’d ever submit. I’ll never again allow myself to be controlled by a man or woman.
