Page 37 of The Love Audit
“Thanks, Roger.” David shook the vet’s hand and added his own clap on the shoulder for good measure. “Poker on Wednesday?”
“Yeah, you know it,” Roger replied. “Take it easy, David.”
“You, too.”
David was kind enough to give Tora and me a ride home, which I appreciated, though my mood didn’t exactly make for sparkling conversation. He tried to make small talk, asking about work and mentioning something about Eleanor’s latest baking experiment, but I could barely muster a grunt in response. Eventually, he gaveup, letting the silence fill the car. It wasn’t awkward, exactly—more like he understood I was a simmering pot ready to boil over and decided to let me stew.
The entire ride home, my mind kept circling back to one glaring question: Why wasn’t Tora’s leash attached to his collar? Tora wasn’t the kind of dog who let just anyone get close enough to mess with his collar. Anyone besides Jasmine or me who tried would be lucky to walk away with all their fingers intact. That meant Jasmine must have taken it off. But why? What possible reason could she have had for letting him run loose in this weather? The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Of course I was angry at Jasmine for losing my dog, but I was angrier at her for forcing me to worry so much about her that it took all of the restraint I could muster not to jump out of David’s truck and run up and down every street in Miller’s Cove screaming her name until I found her.
And, of course, my calls and texts to Jasmine were still going unanswered. Each failed attempt felt like adding fuel to the fire, and by the time we pulled into The Derry House’s driveway, I was practically vibrating with frustration and worry. David didn’t say anything as I got out of the car, just gave me a sympathetic nod before driving off. Smart man.
Once inside, I toweled Tora off as best I could and gave him a treat for being… well, alive. But my questions were far from answered, and until Jasmine showed up or called me back, I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep from exploding. Tora, meanwhile, was already sprawled out on the couch, completely unbothered by the chaos he’d caused. Typical.
I was still stewing after I dried Tora off, muttering under my breath while he happily gnawed on a leftover beef bone, completely oblivious to the emotional roller coaster he’d sent me on. My dozens of missed calls and texts were still unanswered, and my emotions ricocheted between anger and worry like a Ping-Pong ball in a wind tunnel. Every time I managed to convince myself that Jasmine was fine, that she was probably just too preoccupied to answer, another thought would pop up. What if something had happened? What if she was stranded, hurt, or worse? And then, just as quickly, my worry would morph back into anger. How dare she make me worry like this?
The rain continued its unrelenting assault, the steady rhythm only amplifying my anxiety. As the minutes ticked by with no sign of Jasmine and no updates from Eleanor, my anger and worry gave way to full-blown panic. Sitting around wasn’t cutting it anymore. I decided to take action. First, I’d check the local hospitals. Then, if necessary, I’d file a missing persons report. My heart thudded in my chest as I paced back and forth in the kitchen, clutching my phone like it was a lifeline.
Just as I was about to grab my keys, the front door burst open with a dramatic flourish that would have been comical under any other circumstances. Jasmine stood there, soaking wet from head to toe, her workout gear plastered to her skin like a second layer. Her hair hung in a slick curtain of dark curls and waves, dripping onto the floor and adding to the chaos of the moment. Her face was a mix of exhaustion, frustration, and… was that a hintof guilt? It was hard to tell, considering she looked like she’d just run a marathon through a car wash.
Without a word, she made a beeline for her bedroom. Or she would have, if not for Tora, who bolted toward her with the enthusiasm of a long-lost lover in a rom-com. He jumped up, planting two perfect paw prints on her drenched leggings. Jasmine squealed and fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around Tora’s neck like he was the only thing keeping her grounded.
“Tora! Thank God,” she cried, her voice trembling. “Where have you been?”
“That’s a question I could ask you!” I stepped out of the kitchen, my phone still clutched in a death grip. The moment I laid eyes on her—soaking wet but otherwise safe and sound—the panic that had been clawing at my chest transformed into a wave of relief. And then, as quickly as it came, that relief turned into anger. White-hot, can’t-believe-you’ve-put-me-through-this anger.
“Derek,” Jasmine gasped, her hand flying to her chest. “You scared the hell out of me!” She still hadn’t let go of Tora, who had moved on to licking the rain off her face with gleeful abandon.
“I scared the hell out of you?” I repeated incredulously, my voice rising with each word. “I woke up to a torrential downpour to find my dog missing… again. I searched for you for an hour in the pouring rain. Then I got a call from David telling me that some stranger found Tora wandering the streets over a mile away, alone, with no leash.” I pointed at the leash Jasmine was still clutching in her left fist for dramatic effect. “I tried to call you at least two dozen times. How could you be so careless and irresponsible? You let him off the leash, lost him, and didn’t even bother to call meto tell me he was missing. And where the hell have you been this whole time? Did you know I was about to start calling local hospitals? I’ve been sitting here, worried sick about you.” I quickly corrected myself. “Worried sick about the both of you, while—”
“I only took my eyes off him for a second!” Jasmine blurted out, cutting me off. She’d clearly missed my statement about being worried about her, and I wasn’t sure if I was relieved by that. Her eyes were wide and brimming with tears, her voice shaking. “I took him off the leash to let him run around the fenced-in park behind the library because I didn’t want to get too far away from the apartment. I knew it was going to rain, and I was watching him. I swear I was watching him the entire time.” Her voice cracked, and she let out a choked sob before continuing. “I looked away for a second. One freaking second.” Tears spilled down her cheeks, mixing with the rainwater already there. “And then he was gone. It started to rain. I was looking for him. I was looking for him everywhere. My phone died. I didn’t know what time it was. I didn’t want to come home without him.”
My heart clenched painfully at her words, but they did nothing to extinguish my anger. “It’s been hours, Jasmine.Hours!Anything could have happened to you—to, to both of you.”
“I told you, I didn’t want to come home without him!” she shouted back, her voice cracking as more tears streamed down her face. She jumped to her feet, clutching the leash like it was her lifeline. “I spent so long searching that I lost track of time, and when I realized my phone was dead, I knew I had to come back to charge it and change into some dry clothes before going back out to keep looking. I’m sorry I lost Tora. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you hewas missing. I tried. I tried so hard.” Her voice broke completely, and without waiting for a response, she pushed past me, ran into her bedroom, and slammed the door. Her muffled sobs seeped through the walls, tugging at my chest like an anchor.
Tora sat down in front of her door, his head cocked to the side as he let out a soft, pitiful whimper. That’s when the guilt hit me. Hard. It was obvious from her reaction to seeing Tora again that she cared about him deeply. She’d been searching for him for hours, in the pouring rain, without stopping to think about herself. Jasmine might have made a mistake, but she’d been trying to fix it. And I… I had yelled at her instead of offering any kind of understanding.
I sank onto the couch, running a hand through my curls as I stared at the rain battering the window. After a moment of reflection, I realized the main source of my anger wasn’t Tora’s escapade at all. It was the sheer, unrelenting terror I’d felt when Jasmine was missing. My feelings for her were stronger than I wanted to admit, stronger than they should have been for someone who was technically just my roommate. But they were there, undeniable and raw, and that scared me more than anything else.
The right thing to do would have been to knock on her door and apologize. To tell her I understood and that I was sorry for how I’d reacted. An even more mature reaction could have been to tell her the real reason I’d been so upset, but that wasn’t going to happen, not tonight. Instead, I stayed rooted to the couch, paralyzed by my own confusion and guilt, and watched the rain continue to fall.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jasmine
I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe, my chest heaving as if I’d just run a marathon in a hurricane, which I practically had.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried like this—messy, unrelenting, and completely unhinged. My body was soaked, my clothes clinging to me like an unwanted second skin. My toes had gone numb, and persistent shivering had set in, but I couldn’t bring myself to do the simplest thing, like changing into something dry. Instead, I slid under the covers, curling into the tightest ball I could manage. My sobs eventually dwindled to whimpers, then sniffles, until my body, exhausted from the emotional purge, grew warm under the blankets. My eyelids grew heavy, and I drifted off to sleep, clinging to the faint hope that I’d wake up and discover this entire morning had been a terrible dream.
The pounding in my head was the first thing I noticed when I woke up. It was relentless, like a marching band had taken upresidence in my skull. I groaned and tried to bury my face deeper into the pillow, but it was no use. My alarm hadn’t gone off—mostly because I hadn’t bothered to plug my phone in to charge. When I finally peeled the covers back, the cold air hit my damp clothes, and I realized just how gross I felt.
After what had to be one of the worst days of my life—which included an argument with my mother, losing Tora, and getting yelled at by Derek—I’d crawled into bed fully clothed and cried myself into oblivion. Apparently, I’d slept so deeply that I’d skipped dinner, breakfast, and any shred of dignity I might’ve had left. Even now I had no appetite.
I’d seen Derek’s temper before. Most of the time, he was Mr. Cool, Calm, and Collected, but when he was pushed, his fiery side came out. The thing was, his rage had always been directed at people who deserved it—his brother, CJ, being an ass, or someone trying to push his buttons because he seemed like an easy target. It had never been directed at me. Until now.
Twice. In barely less than three weeks.
The difference was, this time, I deserved it. I’d never been much of an animal person. As an only child, I’d begged my mother for a pet for years, only to be told that dogs and cats were too messy. (Her current status as a doting mother to three Pomeranians suggested a change of heart.) Despite my lack of experience, something about Tora had been different.
