Page 53 of Only One Bed: Anthology Vol. 1
Basil barked, startling all of us, and the deer bounded away into the woods, barely making a sound. My heart pounding, I looked at Ryan, and for a few seconds, we just stood looking at each other. He let go of my arm, breaking the spell, and a nervous laugh bubbled up in my chest.
"I’ve never seen deer up that close," I said. "They’re beautiful."
"Yeah. I guess I see them so often that I forgot how beautiful they are. I usually just keep walking," Ryan said.
"Why did you stop this time?" I asked. "I didn’t even notice they were there."
"I thought you’d want to see them." Ryan said. I felt weirdly touched, like we’d shared something special. That was ridiculous, of course. Deer were everywhere. They were practically a plague. But I clearly wasn’t in the habit of thinking like a normal human this weekend, so why stop being weird and dramatic now?
Ryan started walking again, Basil dancing along beside him like we’d stopped for hours. It kind of felt like we had. My arm was tingly where he’d touched it, and I rubbed it as I walked. He must have grabbed me harder than he meant to, harder than I’d realized when I was transfixed by the graceful doe and her wide-eyed teenagers.
It wasn’t that I was surprised that Ryan was so strong. What was a shock was the way his strength made me feel, safe and sheltered. I had an urge to trot into step with him instead of trailing behind, in hopes that he might reach for me again. I shoved it down as hard as I could, annoyed with myself for even thinking it.
I watched the trees as we continued through the woods, hoping to get another glimpse of the deer. None came, though there were birds and chipmunks and squirrels everywhere.
The run-in with the deer left Basil even more energetic than before, still wiggling when we got back to camp and Ryan tried to check him for ticks. I helped out by distracting him with dog treats, keeping a hold on his harness. He nuzzled into my lap and licked my hands, being a generally sweet boy. I started to think that maybe I needed a pet to keep me company. A big old sleepy cat to snuggle when autumn and winter came along would be a great friend, but I really needed to get my life together before I could have an animal friend.
"Tick-free," Ryan said. "Thanks for the help."
"He seems like a real handful," I said.
"Yeah, but he's a good guy. Look at that face," Ryan said. He ruffled Basil’s ears, smiling fondly.
"A very good, naughty, pee-monster."
"You can't hold that against him, he's a baby."
"I hold it against you," I said.
"Fair, fair." He seemed to know I was joking. He'd more than made up for the Pee Incident. "Lunch and beer?"
"Sure. I got cheese and tomato sandwiches. The tomatoes are from my mom's garden."
"Won't they be all soggy by now?"
"No, you never store tomatoes cold," I said. It astounded me that so few people knew that. I didn't even like gardening, I just liked food.
"What?" He sounded as baffled as I felt.
"It ruins the texture. They get all mealy. I haven't cut them yet." I brushed dog hairs off my jeans on the way to the tent, where I'd placed my tomatoes and paring knife in a corner to keep them safe and unsquished.
"Oh. All right. Sandwiches it is," Ryan said.
I held the glossy yellow tomatoes to my nose for a second, breathing in the bitter-green scent of the broken stems before I started cutting them onto a paper plate. They were so ripe that juice ran between my fingers and down my wrists, and Ryan handed me a paper towel to wipe it away.
We ate sitting opposite each other, sipping our beers and talking. I had been right about the ‘never seeing each other again’ part; we'd come from opposite parts of the state, me from the south and he from up north. It was actually too bad, since he had a way of making me feel calm when he wasn’t annoying the hell out of me. Calm was exactly what I needed that weekend, and even though I wasn't sure if I'd go camping again, I'd miss the careless feeling.
I don't know why I read that work email while Ryan was off walking Basil again. Maybe I was just alone and bored and needed something to do with my hands. Maybe I was hoping they'd emailed to say the place was falling apart without me and that they wanted to hire me back, but it was just an exit survey they wanted me to take. What did they expect me to say? They'd fired me because I kept forgetting things, and no matter how I complained to HR that I had a disorder and firing me was an act of discrimination, they didn't care.
Maybe I could have sued, but that would've taken time and money and, frankly, me actually giving a shit. I was back on the job market Monday morning at 8 am. I deleted the email and hoped my former boss got a papercut.
Right on the cuticle.
I slouched off to the tent and took a nap, because if I wasn't working, I might as well be well-rested.
* * *
It was lateby the time I bothered to get up after rolling around and making an ill-fated attempt to read a little bit. Well, not super late, but dinner time, which was late enough to make me feel like I’d wasted half the day. It wasn’t like I’d had a day to waste, but the thought still nagged at me as I emerged from the test to find Ryan cooking chicken skewers over the fire. Basil watched and licked his chops, too focused on the meat to notice when I scratched his head. I didn't know if it was because Ryan was making food and I was starving, or if the golden, failing light was hitting him just right, but he was looking pretty handsome that evening.
