Page 105 of Tangled In Tinsel & Knots
“Wegot through it,” she corrects. “Not me alone. We, together. And in truth, they were patient with me. They didn’t push, didn’t demand anything I wasn’t ready to give. They were just there, helping me through the pain, keeping me safe, making sure I ate and stayed hydrated even when all I wanted was to lock myself in a room alone.”
“That’s what my guys are doing,” I realize out loud. “Being patient. Being there.”
“Exactly.” Lily turns on her stool to face me fully. “Your men are doing the same thing mine did. They’re showing you that they’ll support you no matter what. And, Hannah? You need to stop stressing about it so much. Your work is important, they know that, and they support it completely. But don’t put your career before your personal health and needs.”
“I know that logically,” I say, frustration tightening my throat. “But there’s this voice in my head saying that if I give in, if I let myself fully depend on them during my heat, I’ll lose myself somehow. And I’ve always been the one to take care of everything since we lost Mom.”
“Oh, Hannah.” Lily pulls me into her arms, and I sag into her because she’s the one person who’s seen every version of me—strong, exhausted, terrified, hopeful.
She squeezes me tighter. “You carried so much after Mom died. You shouldn’t have had to, but you did. You held me together. You kept Dad sane. You made sure this bakery survived long enough for me to grow into it. You did all of that.” Her voice softens, warm and full of pride. “But you don’t have to carry everyone anymore. It’s your turn now to be cared for. Let someone else hold you up.”
My chest aches. I swallow hard, blinking fast. “Lily…”
She cups my cheeks, thumbs brushing away nothing, but they might as well be catching tears. “You deserve tenderness, sis, to be loved so loudly it drowns out everything else. So let those guys adore you. Just for once, let someone show up for you.”
Something in me cracks. Just a little. Enough to let her words in.
“Thanks,” I whisper. “I really needed to vent. And to hear that. And… just everything.” I huff a shaky laugh. “I love you.”
“I know.” She smirks, bumping my shoulder. “I’m very lovable.”
“You’re impossible.”
“Also true.”
I exhale, steadying myself. “I should go. I’ve got a hundred things to do before tomorrow.”
“Just be kinder to yourself,” Lily says. “Promise me.”
“I’ll try.” My voice wobbles, but I mean it. “Really.”
She nods, satisfied, then brightens as she heads for the industrial refrigerator. “Before you go, don’t forget the brownies for Chris. And take two trays. That man could eat his weight in chocolate.”
A laugh finally escapes me, soft and real. “Yeah. I noticed.”
And just like that, breathing feels a little easier again.
She takes out a container of brownies, the fudgy ones with chunks of dark chocolate that Chris is obsessed with. “Made extras for Chris. Tell him he’d better savor these because I’m not making another batch until next month.”
I laugh. “You spoil him.”
“I had a deal with him, and I keep my word,” Lily says, handing me the container. She walks me toward the back door. “Your Alphas are good men, Hannah. Don’t sabotage something beautiful because you’re scared.”
I hug her tightly. “Love you.”
“Love you too. Now go home to your men and stop stressing about tomorrow. It’s going to be perfect.”
I leave through the back entrance, clutching the container of brownies, and head toward the truck where Noel parked. He had to pick up a few things, so I used the time to catch up with Lily.
Maybe she’s right and I do need to stop fighting this so much. I need to just let go and see what happens.
But even as I think it, my stomach tightens with anxiety.
Because I know exactly where letting go will lead—with me in their beds every second of the day and night, bonded and knotted and completely claimed. With my life intertwined with theirs in ways I can’t take back.
And as much as I want that—fuck, I desire it so badly it physically hurts—the anxiety is still there. Maybe if I can just get through tomorrow without anything going catastrophically wrong, perhaps then I can think about everything else.
The outdoor ice rink in the town square is packed tonight, and I’m trying desperately not to think about work.
