Page 80 of In Love and War
I crawled into bed slowly. My entire body was sore. Maybe some sleep would help with that too.
I was under the covers and tucked in when it happened. When I caught a whiff of it. Zac. The pillow he’d slept on last night smelled exactly like him. I reached to take the case off. I needed to throw it in the laundry. The case, the sheets, everything. That would fix it. But my hand only moved two inches before it fell back onto the bed.
And that’s when the crying started.
The next fourand a half weeks were more of the same, but with less crying. I changed the sheets and stuck to my routine, creating daily lists of tasks that I forced myself to complete. The routine was what was important. I was okay as long as I stuck to it. As long as I went out and smiled and pretended like everything was fine.
No one knew what had happened. Not even Kai. He was in Boston for work, and we hadn’t talked about Zac since the charity event.
Communication with Zac was all work related and digital, mostly over email. I tried my best to avoid even looking in his general direction. Any small glance I caught of him in the office was accidental and short, but it wreaked havoc to my insides every single time, without fail. It was like taking four steps back.
It would be okay, though, because time makes everything better. That’s what I had been telling myself. I just needed more time.
I walked into work on the last Friday of the month with my stomach in knots. It was the day of my performance review. I’d been dreading it as soon as Andrew put the notification in my calendar a week ago.
We had three reviews per year (my dad was big on formal regular check-ins with the employees). Today, there would be one with Margaret in the morning and one with Zac in the afternoon, since my time so far had been split between the two of them. Though the one with Zac would be more of a formality than anything else. Raises, promotions, and everything else resided with Margaret since she was my official boss.
My review with Margaret had gone exactly as I’d anticipated. Glowing and no complaints. Although I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have been. Nods and smiles, I kept having to remind myself.
“He’s ready for you now, Milly.” Andrew popped his head into my office right on the hour.
I got up and walked into Zac’s office. The two glass walls in the room, including the one he shared with me, had been iced over for the whole day in anticipation of the reviews.
He wasn’t at his desk, like I’d been expecting him to be. Instead, he was on sitting at the head of the small conference table situated in the middle of his large office. I walked over and took a seat on a chair adjacent to him.
He was in a dark forest-green suit and was wearing his glasses. It physically hurt to even look at him, but I forced myself to do it anyway. Acting like a kicked puppy would be more than a little unprofessional.
“How are you?” he asked. Blank face. Flat voice. Unconcerned.
“Great, thank you. Yourself?”
“Fine. Thank you. Before we get started, I would like to make sure you are aware that this meeting is being audio-recorded and a copy will be provided to HR and added to your file upon completion.”
“Sounds good.” I nodded. All of our reviews were recorded. Margaret had mentioned the same thing.
“So, you already had your review with Margaret this morning. How did that go? Any concerns?”
“It went well. No major concerns. She mentioned you would be swapping notes once both review sessions were done, so I’m sure you’ll have the details soon.”
He tapped his pen on the table.
“And are you happy here? I appreciate that your circumstances are unique due to your relationship with our owner and CEO, but I am also aware that your time at Yuval will be hard for us to compete with. Retaining good employees is part of my job, and you’ve already proven yourself to be one of our best, so I would like to ensure that you have no reason to… look for opportunities elsewhere.”
Tap tap tap.
“No. I currently have no plans to leave. Bloom & Co. is the leading marketing and advertising agency in Toronto. Regardless of my familial ties to the company, it wouldn’t be a smart move to give up the opportunity to work here this early in my career. Unless, of course, I was looking to relocate.”
“That’s good to hear. I’m sure you’re more than aware of this already, but you’ve far surpassed all of our expectations in terms of your performance, work ethic, and dedication. I’ve looked at the number of accounts you were able to sign in your first few months, and you were already on track to set a couple of records for your first year. And your performance on the Emerson account has been excellent, especially given how early you currently are in your career. I honestly could not have asked for a better partner, nor do I think I would have been able to find one.”
“Thank you, that’s very kind.” My voice was quiet.
“It’s well deserved. We were wrong to be concerned about your ability to take the account on. For that, I apologize. You’ve proven yourself to be immensely more capable than what we had initially credited you with.
“I’m not entirely sure what your discussion with Margaret entailed as far as the future of your career is concerned, but in my opinion, you’d be an excellent addition to our management team. If not now, then in the near future. You’re fantastic with people, incredibly intelligent, hardworking, motivated, reliable, and trustworthy. And, of course, if things go according to plan, I would absolutely love to see you in your father’s chair someday. And I’ve made sure he knows it.”
I was speechless.
“Well done, Amelia.” A small smile. A glimpse of a dimple.
