Page 131 of The Mating Game
I take a deep breath as I gather my thoughts…and then I tell him. About the first time HGTV tapped our shoulders, about the waiting game we’ve been playing while they deliberated, about the offer—all of it. He listens with rapt attention, letting me get it everything out before he releases a heavy breath.
“That’s…Wow, Tess. That’s fantastic.” He chuckles softly. “Your mother is going to wanna whoop your ass when she finds out you kept all this a secret.”
“I didn’t want to tell you until I had good news,” I explain. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”
“Get our hopes up?” He cocks his head. “This isyourthing, kiddo. We would have just wanted to support you, is all.”
“About that…” I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to find a way to come out and say what I need to say. “I haven’t told you about the signing bonus,” I say. “It’s thirty grand, Dad. It’s enough to schedule that operation.”
His breath catches as he rears back, confusion painting hisfeatures. My dad is a proud man, and I’ve prepared myself for some pushback on this, so I’m already preparing my ten-point argument when he surprises me by throwing his arms around me, hugging me tight as he buries his face in my hair.
“Oh, hon,” he says, his voice thick. “My sweet girl.”
My fingers tangle in his shirt, my eyes prickling with tears. “I need you to be okay,” I say, sniffling. “This will make sure that you are.”
“Baby girl,” he chokes out. “I’d have been okay regardless. You didn’t need to do this for me.”
“Of course I did,” I argue. “Someone has to look out for you.”
He chuckles as he pulls back, wiping at his eyes. “You’ve gotten real good at that over the years, haven’t you?”
His hand touches my cheek, and I cover it with mine, feeling a tear slip out to collide with his fingers. He brushes it away, smiling.
“Tell me why you look so sad,” he says.
I startle, my brow wrinkling. “What? Of course I’m not sad. I’m happy, Dad. Really happy. This is what I’ve been working toward for months. Why on earth would I be sad?”
“Kiddo,” he laughs. “You’ve spent most of your life taking care of people, and I’ve always been so proud of you for that. It’s just who you are. Ever since you learned how to walk, you’ve been offering up a helping hand to one person or another, but you can’t fool me. You never could. I know when my baby is hurting.”
My traitorous eyes begin to well with more tears, and I feel them spilling like I’m a little girl again, my heart aching. “They want me to start right away.”
“And that’s…bad?”
“I don’tknow,” I cry. “I just…It’s just…”
“Deep breath,” Dad says. “In and out.”
I do as he says, drawing in a steadying breath and releasing itslowly until the panic rising inside me starts to quell. I have so many feelings right now that I don’t know what to do with.
“I met someone,” I tell him. “In Colorado.”
He looks surprised but masks it quickly. “You did?”
“I did,” I say with a nod, and his hand falls from my cheek to hold mine in my lap. “And he’s…Well. He’s wonderful, really.”
“And that makes you sad?”
I shake my head at his playful tone. “No.No. But he’s—he’s tied to that place. His entire life is there. He’d never leave it. And here I am in another state, about to be tied down to a contract for at least six months. Maybe more. I won’t have time tobreathe, much less visit. How can I ask him to wait for me? He barely knows me. I can’t do that to him. But he’s…he’s lost so much already. I don’t want to be another thing he loses. I just don’t see how I can avoid it.”
“That…” Dad nods solemnly. “That is a tough one.”
He doesn’t know the half of it. If I were to tell him everything—about my new designation, about the heats, the shifting, all of it—his head might explode. Probably a conversation for a time when I’mnotalready falling to pieces. Besides, I think that’s definitely something I want to tell him and Mom at the same time.
“You know,” Dad says. “You don’thaveto take this job. Not if you don’t want to.”
“Of course I do,” I tell him chidingly. “Don’t be silly. Iwantto. I just…I want him too. I want both, and I don’t know if I can have that, and it’s killing me.”
“I’m sorry, kiddo,” he says, sounding sincere. “I wish I had better answers for you.”
