Page 31 of Persephone's Curse
I thought back to the glass she’d thrown at the wall/Clara. That had been inside the house; I didn’t want to imagine anangrierBernadette outside of it.
“Ididget hit in the face with a volleyball,” she said.
“I know. We saw the video.”
“But it wasn’t what caused my black eye. It looked impressive on camera, but it wasn’t really that hard.”
“So then…”
“I was in a fight,” she said. “In hindsight, I one hundred percent deserved it. I’d had too much to drink; I took the first swing and I missed and… I was way out of line.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was so embarrassed. I’ve always had all this anger, I should have learned to control it by now.” A pause, then: “It’s why I threw that glass at Clara’s head.”
So youdidthrow the glass specificallyatClara’s head—I wanted to say but didn’t. Instead I said, “And what does this have to do with the house?”
“I don’t know. I’m still working things out in my head. I just know that it’s really hard for me, being away from the house. It feels like there’s a constant pull. Like it wants me back. Or maybe it’sme,being scared to be away from it. Being scared to be away from all of you, and from Henry.”
Not you, too,I wanted to say, but didn’t.
What I did say was, “I know what you mean.”
Bernadette smiled. “I talk to Henry a lot, actually. About all this. It gets so jumbled in my head, but he’s such a good listener.”
“He is.”
We were silent for a moment, both of us thinking about Henry, if I had to guess.
“Well, how hasthishouse been treating you?” I asked.
“We go on a lot of hikes and I meditate and journal and stuff. I think I’ve filled up two journals since I’ve been here. Aunt Bea is really into, like, attacking my healing from every angle. I’ve been seeing a therapist up here. And a psychiatrist. And I’m so fucking sick of talking about my feelings. But I’m doing it.” She paused, took a deep breath. “I’m stalling. I’m trying to just say it.”
“Say it,” I said, taking her hand. “Whatever it is.”
“The psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar II disorder. She’s referred me to a psychiatrist in New York so I can come home and continue my treatment there.”
“Okay,” I said. And because I didn’t know what else to say, I squeezed her hand and repeated it. “Okay.”
“You know what I thought when she told me? The first thing I thought?”
“What?”
“Fuck you, Melinoë.”
“One point to the goddess of madness,” I said.
“I will admit, I’ve gone a little bit down the rabbit hole with her,” Bernadette said. “Did you know she was born by the river Cocytus? It’s the River of Wailing in the Underworld. No wonder she went mad.”
“Well, good thing we’re fresh out of wailing rivers in New York.”
“And she’s also considered the goddess of ghosts. I didn’t know that.Ghosts,Winnie. We might as well make an altar for her right now and start sacrificing baby sheep or something.”
“I hope you’re joking.”
“Of course I’m joking. I’m a vegetarian.”
I let go of her hand and tapped the side of her head. “I’m proud of you.”
