Page 9 of Fractured Souls
“You deserve better, Cam.” The soft tone hugs my heart. I don’t know what to say or why this keeps happening to me. I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of no one getting me. I’m tired of putting myself out there. Siena said she loved me, but that can’t be true. You don’t hurt people you love. Right? I don’t know where I always go wrong.
I like to think I’m a pretty good boyfriend. I throw myself into my relationships, and I give my all to the people I’m with. It’s great for a month or two, but then . . . I don’t know. It’s like they all get exhausted. They want to hang out with me less and less. I don’t know how to fix it—fix me.I want to be better.
Whatever. I can’t change it now, what’s done is done, so I squeeze his knee. “I love you.”
He slaps my hand away. “I’m giving you ten minutes and then I’m dragging you out of there,” he warns me.
“Thank you.” I smile gratefully. “I can’t go back anyway, even if I wanted to.”
“Why’s that?” he asks absently.
“I’m in a committed relationship with your hand.”
His head whips to face me, eyes hard. “I hate you.”
With a stretch I put my arm over the back of his seat and lean into him. He startles, blinking rapidly at me. “It was brief, but I can tell they knew what they were doing.”
He shoves me away. “Stop it.” But now he giggles and the sound lights me up from the inside out.
“I’m just messing around.” I turn to him, cupping his cheeks. My eyes search his and there it is . . . that warm flicker deep in my belly. “Nothing to worry about, Bobo.” I kiss the bridge of his nose. We’re no strangers to kisses and hugs, but there’s a weight now that wasn’t there before this morning. A thought pops into my brain telling me to lean into him, but I ignore it and listen to the one telling me to pull away instead. “We’re okay?”
“Yeah, we’re okay.”
“Must have been a really hot guy you were dreaming about,” I tease. “I think my hip is chafed from all the dry humping you were doing.” I laugh, but his mouth pinches and his eyes harden.
“You told me you were asleep.”Fuuucck, I am a dumbass. “How would you know I was humping you?”
Dumb brain. Dumbdumbbrain! “I mean—” A flash of red catches my attention and I can honestly say I’ve never been this happy to see Siena storming toward my car. “Shit. Wait here.” I get out and shut the door.
“Where have you been?” Her green eyes look beyond me. “Why am I surprised? You’re so obsessed with him. I’ve been trying to talk to you and you ran right back to him!”
“Oh, my bad. I should have patiently waited for you to get your panties back on!” I yell back, then swallow it. I’m not this guy. I don’t get angry like this. She’s not worth it.Don’t cry.Don’t cry.“He’s my best friend, of course I went back to his house. I didn’t fuck a guy in our bed!” Her emerald eyes begin to swim.Fuck. I hate tears. They’re my kryptonite. I steel my spine and focus on what I need to do. “Save it. I just want my stuff and I’m gone.”
I walk past her to the house, focusing on what I need to do and not the clench of my guts as I relive last night.
I see my laptop on the table and grab it as a soft hand grazes my elbow. “Baby, please let me explain.” What explanation could she possibly give. I almost ask her, as if there could ever be a good reason for seeing some other guy eating your girlfriend’s pussy. “I’m so sorry, Cammy.” She tugs at my shirt, but I wrench out of her grip, careful not to hurt her.
“Where’s my blanket?” It may be a ridiculous thing for a twenty-six-year-old man to say, but my abuela knitted it for me when I was three, and to this day I need it. I wasn’t thinking last night when I walked out without it.
“Your blankie? Are you fucking serious, Cam? Talk to me!”
I throw a cage around my heart, ignoring her rosy nose and welling eyes. “I’m calling Dan in the morning and telling him I’ve moved. Rent’s yours, sweetheart. You can have that dickwad pay for your shit.”
“Camden—” I ignore her as I go to our bedroom, and I almost expect him to be here. Anger rolls over me.
“Why? Huh? Just tell me why!” I don’t want to know almost as much as I do.
“It just happened, okay. I don’t know.”
“That’s it? It just happened. I was good to you, I—”
“Good to me?” She laughs, her anger springing up out of nowhere. “It’s not like you’re some fucking prize.Oh my god.I can’t do this. I was trying to be nice. I feel bad, but fuck it. You’re so annoying. Is that what you want to hear, Cam? You’re annoying as fuck. You act like some big-ass child. All you want to do is stay home and watch stupid cartoons—”
“It’s anime and it’s not stupid!”
“Whatever!” she shouts. “You’re so fucking immature. All you want to do is play video games and watch TV. I thought shit would be different if we lived together, but it’s worse.” That’s not . . . Is that all I do? I don’t ever party, that’s never been me. My perfect nights revolve around a new recipe to try, a TV, and someone by my side.
My mind conjures Bo.
