Page 87 of Fractured Souls
We come out into an area with various animals and Christmas animations all lit up. Santa is glowing in his sleigh, followed by his reindeer. I squeeze Bo’s hand harder, and while everything around us is so beautiful, watching his face is what makes me smile.
A Ferris wheel is up ahead, flashing with blue strobe lights, as well as more animals and Christmas décor—a snowman, some elves. There’s are a path lined with cone-shaped trees, and glowing orbs with flashing balls inside. We see replicas of famous places—the Eiffel Tower, the pyramids, and Mount Everest—and a giant teddy bear sitting with gifts next to him. It’s all so pretty.
We see a tunnel and I point to it. “Want to go in there?”
Bo’s fingers tighten in mine. I notice the way he’s breathing. “Yeah.”
I let go of his fingers and get in front of him, crouching down. “Come on. Get on.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Come on, Bo. Ride me.”
“Do you know how much I hate you?” I just laugh and wait for him to give in. I know he wants to. We’ve walked a fair bit and it’s freezing out here. He hops on, his arms going around my neck, and I grab his legs, soaking in the warm weight of him. He’s not heavy at all, but it’s a weight that comforts me. Just like when we’re sleeping in bed.
We head for the tunnel. We’ve lost our friends, but that’s okay. They have to be around here somewhere. The path is lit by a tunnel of pink and blue lights. We look up, surrounded by the glow, and it feels like falling into another dimension. “This is so pretty.” Bo’s arms tighten around my neck as we walk through.
“It really is.”
“I want to take a picture.”
Bo slips off my back, reaching into his pocket for his phone. “Do you want your inhaler?”
He shakes his head, clicking on the camera. “Smile.” He comes over to me, taking a selfie of us both. “Smile.” I do, and he takes the photo, but I don’t move away. “What?”
Why do I keep running away from this? I mean, I know why. I’ll inevitably fuck this up. It’s just a fact based on history. It’s bound to happen. Losing Bo will be the worst thing that will ever happen to me.
What if it doesn’t have to be that way, though?
“I want to kiss you.” I straighten, looking down at him. “That’s what I’m thinking.”
Bo searches my face for a moment, dark brown eyes with so much light and love inside them. His cheeks are so pink, and his nose is red. His skin is nearly two shades lighter than it normally is. I know he’s cold.
He licks his lips, and I track the movement. “Then kiss me,” he says softly.
I swallow, not minding anyone around us in this tunnel surrounded by lights. All they do is make every one of his features stand out. I cup his face, leaning down, and when our lips press together my stomach flips. It feels like a first kiss. It feels new and exciting, even though I’ve done this a thousand times before.
He grabs on to my wrists as my hands cup his face, and we stand there. I’m soaking in the warmth I feel, and drinking in the soft press of his lips. I want this forever. Why can’t I have this? His tongue pokes out, caressing the seam of my mouth. I kiss him a touch harder then pull back, not risking another playground disaster. Not that anyone here seems to mind.
I want to ask him what this means. I want to ask him if he wants to try. The thing is, though, through all of this Bo hasn’t said a word about it. What if he doesn’t want this? What if this is just something fun? Maybe Bo doesn’t want to be with anyone. He’s never really shown a desire to. And that’s okay, right?
I know I need to talk to him. I do. But I’m terrified.
The thing is, I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be just friends.
Chapter 22
Bo
Someofthewarmthhas come back to my limbs. The light show was pretty, but I’m not a fan of the cold. It makes it harder to breathe. I’m a sixty-five degrees all year round kind of guy. I’m a sweater-weather man. The shower I took made the feeling come back to my hands and feet at least.
“Your nose is still red,” Cam laughs, drying my hair. Without thinking, I grab one of his shirts and slip it on. “Should have saved you the trouble packing and just brought my clothes.”
While he smiles I try to push away the clenching feeling in my gut. Today has been very . . . coupley. I want to ask about it, but I just don’t want to ruin how this feels—and it feels amazing. It’s pretend, though.
Isn’t it? I shake my head. “You and your shirts.”
“No, you . . .” He leans in next to my ear. “Inmy shirts.”
