Page 53 of Fractured Souls
“Fine.” He glares at us both, walking out of the door frame.
Noah inspects his nails, counting, “Five . . . four . . . three—” Jamie peeks his head back in.
“I love you.”
“Love you too.” Noah blows him a kiss, and Jamie walks away from us. “You just got to train them right.”
I shake my head, looking at myself again. I love this. I don’t want to take it off.
So I don’t. I slip my T-shirt over my head and pull on my jeans. While I got it with Cam in mind, I can’t deny how good I feel right now.
“If Cam can’t give you what you need, someone great will. You deserve that.” I try to let that sink in and settle, but still I can’t help thinking Noah’s wrong. “Besides, this is for you, Bo. No one else. You like the way wearing that feels, right?” I nod. “It’s more than okay to feel good for yourself.”
Hours later I’m in front of my own mirror. It’s weird. Noah’s must have magical powers because I feel none of the excitement I had earlier with him. I look at myself and just see everything I’m not, everywhere I lack. I’m too skinny, and my ears are a little big. My chin looks a little pointy, my lips maybe a bit too thin.
I touch my stomach. I swear it looked more defined at Noah’s.
Okay, okay, enough. Like Noah said, the lingerie is for me, not for anyone else. Without looking at my reflection, I feel hot, it feels good. So then why does that all disappear the moment I see myself reflected back?
I grab the smaller black bag from theothershop Noah and I went to, and toss it onto the bed. While I love having Cam here, I will admit, it’s hard to finealonetime.
Another bedroom would be ideal. I’ve thought about asking Cam if he wants us to find another place with two rooms. It would help with this cramped feeling, and maybe some space would help me out a bit. I glance at the clock . . . it’s almost four. Cam won’t be home for a couple of hours.
My eyes swing to the black bag on my bed.
Undressing down to the strawberry lingerie, I take out the purple prostate massager. I’ve never used one before . . . Opening my nightstand I take out the lube, trying not to make eye contact with my dildo. “This doesn’t mean I love you any less.” I shut the drawer then get on my bed.
My hands run over the silky fabric. I like the way it makes my skin feel. When I’m not looking at myself in the mirror, I feel sexy. I feel different, alive. Noah has opened this whole new world to me. And I love that he’s shameless, it makes asking questions easier. I’m not really that experienced, and the only other person I have to talk to is the reason for these feelings to begin with.
I lube up the toy then stretch my underwear, reaching down. My eyes close. I press it against my hole, slowly working it inside, and I suck in a breath when it rests against it’s target. “Holy shit,” I whisper. Reaching next to me, I find the remote.
I turn it on andholy shit. Oh my god. It nearly slips out, but my walls clench around the slender toy.
Holy shit!
I close my eyes, reaching inside the fabric of my underwear and palming my aching dick. I could slip the underwear off, but there’s something about the feel of the fabric on my skin that’s turning me on. My hips roll with the pulse of the toy, every thrum making my back arch a little more. It takes a while for me to feel comfortable, even just with myself. I feel, I don’t know . . . hot.
Reaching between my legs, I press the toy lightly, thrusting it inside. I’ve never felt anything this good—my dildo is great but it doesn’t vibrate. My free hand runs over the fabric of the top. It’s silky and soft, and here with my eyes closed, I do feel sexy. My palm runs down my stomach then down between my cheeks,pressing on the toy harder as I grind against it. “So good. Fuck me.”
In the privacy of my room I let my mind wander. I think about what it would be like with Cam, every hard inch of him pressed against me. What would he taste like? I hate that man who got to know. Sweet and musky, probably. Incredibly addicting, definitely.
I’ve loved Cam most of my life, but this heat and fire is so new to me. Maybe it’s because I never dared let my mind wander, but now that I’ve experienced a small taste . . . Maybe that’s why I can’t let these thoughts go.
In a perfect world I’d have him here with me. He’d come home after work and we’d make dinner. Or he’d make dinner and I’d work on writing while he hummed happily in my kitchen. Then I’d let him watch whatever anime he wanted, all while we sat on the couch making out until we were both desperate for air.
“Cam.” His name slips from my lips in a breathy whisper. “Ungh, Camden.” I release my balls, still stroking myself and letting my imagination bleed over into reality. Who needs the truth when my fantasy is so sweet? My fingers dip into the fabric of the top to pinch a nipple. “Insane. Cam.” I moan. “Feels . . . so . . . feels so—”
“Feels so what?” I freeze. Instant chills run up my spine. I lift my head, watching Cam in the doorway. “Uh . . . got home earlier and I heard, uh, my name. I uh, thought you um, needed . . . me.”
The room is soft with light, but I think I see him swallow as his amber eyes do a slow crawl over my body.
“Cam—”
“Feels so what, Bowen?” His raspy voice makes me shiver. His hand is squeezing his dick. What the hell am I doing? I fumble for the remote, trying to shut it off and accidentally hitting a different setting. My head flies back and my back arches as theevil thing inside me thrums against my prostate. It’s absolutely too much.
I smell subtle cedar, and I open my eyes. Cam is above me, looking down at me. What’s happening? Am I imagining this? I have to be, right? He looks down my body. “Feel good?”
“Yes.” I nearly bite my tongue. “What are you doing?”
