Page 16 of Fractured Souls
After I put the groceries down, I go over to my laptop on the coffee table and sink into the couch. My knee bounces, and I stare at the laptop a moment before I give in to the thoughts in my mind.
Fuck it.
I open it, looking around his apartment as if I’m not the only one here. Bo will be at work a little longer, so I decide to go to a website I use to watch porn on occasion. Only this time I click the side that says gay. When everything loads, I’m smacked with video after video. It’s a bit overwhelming.
With straight porn I don’t really focus on the guy much. He’s more an object there to please the woman he’s with. Now I can’t escape it.
Picking a random one, I watch two men undress each other. They’re attractive and fit, and they seem super into each other. I watch one drop to his knees and—oh wow, okay, he pulls down his sweats and the guy’s cock springs free, hitting him on the chin and making him laugh. He looks up, and so much need drips from the guy who’s standing . . . waiting. His dick is a bit bigger than mine, and I watch it hang there before the other guy’s lips.
He leans in, a moan exploding from his throat as he takes him deep. Pulling slowly back off his cock, he moans a bit more, then leans in to kiss the tip of his dick and take him between his lips again. I look down at my lap. Nothing’s really happening. I don’t really like the gagging sounds—they’re making me want to gag myself. It’s hot, I guess, in the way that sex is hot. Still, I don’t feel much.
“Not much to say now, do you?” I hiss at my crotch. “Where was this energy last night, huh?”
My brain is an asshole, though. It’s out to get me. My thoughts shift and morph dangerously as I watch the guys, but then I think about Bo. What if he were on his knees for me. What if itwere him choking on my dick? Inhaling my scent. Savoring my body. Big brown eyes and pouty lips. What if it were him sliding down my briefs, leaning in to inhale my scent. Licking my balls, fuck, sucking the head of my cock into his wicked mouth. That sharp tongue licking my shaft.
I know he’d look up at me, hitting me with those big beautiful eyes.
My cock stirs.
My brain is a monster.
I just can’t stop thinking about it. I set the laptop on the coffee table and reach inside my shorts. I just grip it a little. Just a squeeze. Just enough to tease. For a moment I watch the two men. The top has his partner ass up on the bed, and he dives in. Fuck, I love eating pussy. I love the way girls taste, the way they sound, and the way they smell. I love the way thick thighs tremble as they’re pushed to the edge.
Would Bo taste that sweet?
Images come fast and hot. I could do it. I know I could. Spread his legs and bury my face between them . . . “Shit.” I lift up, pulling my gym shorts down and letting my dick free. I don’t have lube, so I spit in my hand then gather the precum pearling from my swollen tip.
Leaning my head back against the couch, I close my eyes and let my thoughts run wild.
I’d use my tongue, and lick him till he was begging to come. Would he let me finger him? I’d slip right into his tight hole, coaxing him open. I’ve only had anal one other time with a girl, and it’s been years, but I know I’m a lot to take that way. I’d make sure he was ready . . . begging. Desperate for my cock to split him open.
I’m pumping faster, my dick weeping at the thoughts I can’t stop flashing in my mind. One eye pops open to the two men on screen. Close up, I watch the guy’s cock slide inside the otherone’s ass, and again, it’s okay. It’s hot I guess, but when I close my eyes it’s Bo spread out for me. I’d want him to cling to me. I want to watch him come as I bury myself deep inside him and kiss him breathless.
“Fuck!” I come on my stomach, rolling my hips up into my fist in short little jerks. The two men on screen finish, and I’m no closer to figuring this out.
I get up and go to the sink to clean myself up.
So uh, two men fucking? Meh.
Me fucking Bo?
Not so meh.
Once my hands and stomach are clean, I close my dumbass laptop and grab my phone. I’m not sure what’s going on with me, but I need air. I don’t know what the hell has happened to me in the last forty-eight hours, but it needs to stop.
Bo has always been my comfort human, but never has that comfort involved orgasms.
It’s different, but I don’t hate it.
I don’t know anything right now. All I know is last night was the single hottest kiss I’ve ever had. Bowen being a man isn’t even something I’m thinking about.
Bo is just Bo.
That’s it.
Right?
After I spent a little time searching up words, labels, and meanings, I’m still no closer to figuring this out. Bi doesn’t feel right, but maybe I can find attraction with another guy. I landed on demi being closest, but I don’t know. Maybe I don’t need a label to slap on what I’m feeling. I only need the truth.
