Page 106 of Fractured Souls
“What’s that for?”
I turn to look at Noah. “It’s a spacer. It basically just helps the medicine get to him quicker.” Bowen tries to inhale. He reaches for my hand, squeezing. Good sign. “Go ahead, Bobo. Do what you have to do.” I watch him grip onto me. “That’s it.”
“Come on, Noah, let’s go.”
“Noah.” I look behind me. “Thank you for taking care of him. I’m glad he has you.” Noah gives me a smile, grabbing Jamie’ssweater and leading him out the door. The heavy chill of my wet clothes is starting to get to me. I hate wearing wet clothing. They feel too heavy and cling to my skin.
“I know . . . you want . . . to peel your . . . skin off.”
I laugh, I can’t help it. “As much as I’d love to strip down in front of you right now, we need to talk first.” Bowen takes another puff, nodding. “That’s it. Don’t scare me like that.”
“Tattoo?” I look down at the strawberries and banana on my wrist.
I smile down at it. No matter what, I know we’ll be solid. I am terrified, but it’s a fear that’s worth the risk. Seeing Jamie with Noah and getting to know him has shown me it is. I know Jamie’s terrified of losing Noah, he’s already lost so much, but seeing him so happy . . . I’m envious. I want a slice of that. “Do you like it?” I smile, looking down at the banana in between the strawberries. It’s adorable.
“Cam.” His brows pinch. “That’s a dick.”
“What?!” I look down, and I don’t understand what he means. “No it’s not. It’s us, more strawberry than banana.”
“Camden, look at it.” He holds my wrist up, and oh,oh shit.
Well, Julian’s looks make sense now. “I wanted the banana in between, because they’re friends.”
He closes his eyes, laughing. Or trying to. His breathing is still a bit stunted. “I love you so much.” He smiles, shaking his head. “It’s a cute tattoo.”
My chest fills with warmth as more color comes back to his face. “You’re my best friend, Bo.” I swallow, holding his hand. “I love you more than anything.” I cup his face, loving the way he leans into it. “It just took me a little while to understand what that actually means.”
Finally his breathing is near normal. He’s still gripping my hand and I don’t think I can let go. “The power outage,” he says softly, his voice more stable. “Are you okay?”
I smile, thinking about my freakout. “Yeah. Jamie helped me with it.” This entire time I’ve thought of Noah as Bo’s friend, but that’s not right. They’re our friends. “I like him.”
“Yeah, well, he’s taken . . . and I’m not sharing you.”
“I’m scared,” I admit. “I just want you to know that.”
“Cam.” My eyes lift to Bo. “Lock the door.”
Chapter 27
Bo
Camshutsthedoorsoftly before carefully coming back to the side of the bed. I can feel my body settle, the sharp pain I felt almost gone. I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up this morning, but after he left I just lost it. It’s like everything over the last few months just built up and I couldn’t control it any longer. I broke down.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“What?”
I look down, the shame at my words from last night hitting me. “You’re not dumb. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I was mad. You’re not dumb.”
Cam gives me a sad smile, and still I can’t believe those words came out of me. Drunk or not, there was no excuse. Seeing the heartbreak on his face last night guts me.
I don’t know why I haven’t seen it before. Cam is deeply insecure, but how can he help it when all the people around him have treated him badly in the past.
Not me. I refuse to ever let anger get the best of me again. It’s not Cam’s fault I didn’t tell him I was in love with him.
He sits there, crouched between my legs watching me. It’s rare I have attacks like that. The last few days—hell, months—have been a lot. Silence is choking me. This awkwardness settles in my bones and I hate it. I almost wish I’d never touched him that first night. I wish I’d never fallen asleep next to him. I wish he hadn’t moved my hand and I wish everything after that was just a dream and we could go back to just being us.
Even as I think it, I know it’s not true.
