Page 26 of Tempting Harriet
“But my dear Harriet, you would so enjoy the afternoon.” Lady Forbes sounded quite crestfallen. “An excursion onthe river and a picnic afterward and the weather so lovelyagain that one wonders how we will have to suffer for itlater. It was very kind of the Smiths to include you in theinvitation, but they did so because I explained how disappointed you were not to be able to come to the garden partyyesterday. Can your visit to the National Gallery with theBeaconswoods not be postponed?”
“I have promised,” Harriet said, examining the backs of her hands. “And it is a place I really want to see while inLondon.”
Lady Forbes sighed. “But it could be done just as easily on a rainy day,” she said. “And you would not be wastingall this precious sunshine. But how dreadful I am being. Ihave told you to think of this as your home. You must do asyou wish, dear. I am glad to see that your friendship withthe countess is becoming such a firm one. She seems to bean amiable lady.”
“Yes,” Harriet said without raising her eyes, “she is. Our children enjoy one another’s company. Not that we will betaking the children to the gallery, of course. They are a little young.”
Lady Forbes rose from the luncheon table, from which Sir Clive had departed long ago. “Well, I have a river excursion to get ready for,” she said. “I will need to wear mylargest hat, I believe.”
“Amanda,” Harriet said as her friend turned away. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment and clasped her handstogether. “I cannot do this any longer. I cannot continue tolie.”
“To lie, dear?” Lady Forbes sat down again and turned her head to nod a dismissal to the servant who stood at thesideboard.
“I am not going anywhere with the Beaconswoods this afternoon,” Harriet said. “I did not go visiting with Julia onMonday or shopping with her last Thursday despite the accounts I gave you of both outings. The only times I haveseen Julia have been in the mornings with the children.”
Lady Forbes said nothing.
“I will be going out alone this afternoon and every Monday and Thursday afternoon until the end of the Season,” Harriet said. “I have appointments.”
Lady Forbes was silent for a few moments longer. “You did not need to burden yourself with lies, Harriet,” she said.“And you need say no more now if you do not wish. Youdo not owe me explanations. Your life is your own.”
Harriet opened her eyes at last, but she continued to look down at her hands. “I feel,” she said, “that perhaps I shouldnot continue to stay here. I will leave if you wish.”
“To go where?” Lady Forbes asked. She sighed. “Who is he, Harriet? Do you want to tell me?”
Harriet unclasped her hands and spread her fingers wide.
“Not Tenby,” Lady Forbes said. “Oh, Harriet, not Tenby.Is that why you were so agitated yesterday? It was not justthat you felt the duchess had been forced into offering youa place in Tenby’s carriage for a drive in the park?”
Harriet shuddered. “It was horrible, Amanda,” she said. “Sitting beside him all the time with his grandmother opposite. You cannot imagine how like a nightmare it was.”
“Tenby.” Lady Forbes drew a deep breath and let it outslowly. “He will never marry you, Harriet.”
“I know that,” Harriet said quickly. “I have never had any illusions about that. Well, not for six years, anyway.”
“He will break your heart.” Lady Forbes said.
“No.” Harriet looked up for the first time. “I know exactly what the situation is. I know it will end. I even know when it will end. He will marry Lady Phyllis Reeder this summer. I will accept it and be satisfied when the time comes.”
“Oh, Harriet.” Lady Forbes leaned across the table and set a hand over hers. “No, dear, never. You have a wonderful capacity for love—for unconditional, lasting love. You have no gift for flirtation or—dalliance.”
“Then perhaps it is time I grew up,” Harriet said. “I am twenty-eight years old.”
“And growing up means hardening your heart so that you can have an involvement with a rake and then shrug yourshoulders and forget him when it is over?” Lady Forbesasked.
“I’ll not forget him,” Harriet said. “But I’ll be able to putit all behind me when summer comes. He offered mecarteblanchesix years ago when I was still with Clara. I neverforgot him. Part of me was always a little sorry that I hadrefused.”
“Your heart was bruised merely because an offer had been made and rejected,” Lady Forbes said. “How is yourheart going to bear up when you have—spent two afternoons a week with him for more than two months? Oh,Harriet, I think I know your heart better than you know ityourself, dear. It will be badly shattered.”
“I suppose I will find out which of us is right,” Harriet said with a rather crooked smile. “Besides, Amanda, it istoo late.” She flushed.
“The man should be horsewhipped and shot between the eyes,” Lady Forbes said crossly. “He really should, Harriet. He has no business dallying with someone like you. Heshould keep to his own kind. There must be any number ofwomen of a certain type who would be only too eager to—toservehim for a suitable fee.”
Harriet twisted her hands together again. “Would you prefer that I move away?” she asked.
“No.” Lady Forbes looked at her bowed head for some time. “You have not put yourself beyond the pale, Harriet, provided you are discreet. Doubtless there are any numberof people who assume that if you are enjoying the Seasonas a young widow, you must be having an affair with someone. It would be surprising to many people if you were not.Life among members of thetonis much like a game, my dear. One must know the rules and keep to them quiterigidly. You may dally with as many gentlemen as youwish, provided no one is ever allowed to see you togetherin anything like compromising circumstances. No onewould dream of judging you even if they suspected thetruth. I do not judge you. I know you well enough to believe that you are doing that quite nicely for yourself.”
“At least,” Harriet said, “I’ll not have to tell you any more lies. The lies have bothered me as much as anything.”
